this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2024
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People who make me feel like crap or worse off then when I encountered them consistently are written off and out of my life

Doesn't matter if its family, nobody is entitled to your attention and suffering and it does nobody any real good for you to succumb to the inevitable dysfunction it creates in your life and relationships and also material conditions.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

"Always eat your dessert first"

Meaning, when you feel overwhelmed by a huge task or a long list of tasks in front of you, start with the easiest, smallest and most pleasant parts. That way you overcome inertia and the feeling of standing in front of a huge, looming mountain, and get in the groove.

Once you've started, the next task on the list is just a little bigger than the last, which you've just successfully completed. That way you can get a lot done, step by step.

When only the biggest and most difficult tasks are left, you can break them down into tiny steps (don't "clean the house", just "pick up this one thing and put it away"). Again, do the easiest steps first, and celebrate each one as a thing you've just successfully accomplished.

Some people say you should start with the hardest stuff to get it behind you, but I have ADHD and trying that just keeps me from starting anything at all.

On a related note, don't write To-Do lists.
They're a devious trick by your brain to procrastinate. You already know a dozen things that need to be done at any given moment, so instead of writing a list, just do one of them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Save the hard stuff for earlier tho. You have the most energy and patience earlier after you sleep so optimize for that window or energy

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

And then you fail, or you're overwhelmed by negative emotions associated with the task, and you're frustrated and go back to doomscrolling or trying out another Linux distro.