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[Vent, Advice Wanted] If all you do is take, something's gotta give (hexbear.net)

submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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For the last two months, I been putting up an old friend from a punk house since I moved into my house and couldn't leave out my lease. This friend has a lot of energy and motivation issues, and generally needs a lot of support. Beyond putting him up, I helped him leave out the punk house we used to live in that was getting evicted, got him a storage unit, and have helped out with about an errand a week.

I asked him if he would help me clean out the apartment since I had been putting him up and he basically shrugged me off. On top of that, now he's trying to change the timeline for getting out, but I need to do it this weekend when I am off work otherwise it will never get done. He knows this and we discussed it weeks ago.

Thankfully, some friends have agreed to put him up for a week as an 'off ramp' but it still feels like I am evicting him sort of.

I feel shitty because he don't have a real place to go in the city. At the same time, I have done as much as I can with the energy and time I have available. It also feels shitty that we would probably be better friends right now if I had just left him on the street.

Some help sensemaking is appreciated right now.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

Not an asshole comrade, I had a friend of mine we put up for two years finally move out. Bit of a different situation though, he helped chip in/occasionally helped with chores but the problem really was that rent and living around here is just insane. Only reason he was able to get out was because he found two other people who happened to be moving out at the same time; sheer luck, honestly.

Most craigslist/other listing sites didn't really have a...decent selection of room-mates and it's better to take that risk with people you know if you can.

More and more people I know have the same issues with motivation and energy. I do from time to time; working at a simple job that pays decent for now despite being able to "apply" myself and get a better job, but I don't want the additional responsibilities for like...three or four extra bucks an hour.

You just only have so much to give and time doesn't work for any of us.