Not The Onion

12426 readers

30 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

300

Astronomers Found Something Cold and Wet Near Uranus (gizmodo.com)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

42 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Things I never realized being a straight man

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Let me help every woman you'll sleep with going forward, then. Don't just jizz on the bed when you pull out. It also gets cold, but now it's where you need to sleep. Lol.

Also don't get it in their hair, it's a bitch to get out if it dries. Invest in a daily glass of pineapple juice, though, and you probably won't have to worry about it where to end. They won't mind swallowing so much

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Lmao. I'm an old man with a kid and a committed GF. We always have something to take care of it. But thanks for the PSA.