this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
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Woah stop making men feel safe and seen. Next thing they'll become feminists, or worse, empathetic and caring humans!
I actually spoke with some who said talking about problems specific to men, is somehow anti feminist, because it puts men into a victim role.
"Feminists" that base their feminism on pure misandry are counterproductive to the movement
...but are also quite common and not called out or excluded for it.
Hell, I can point you to the sexual assault researcher who is the origin of that 1 in 4 number you hear thrown around and also coined the term "date rape" asking in confusion how a woman could even hypothetically rape a man and when given an example where the man was drugged into compliance declared it to be "unwanted contact" and not, you know some kind of assault or rape. This was about ten years ago, not like back in the 70s or something.
That's not what helps men feel empathy, though. That's not how empathy is developed. If it was, movie actors and kings etc who have empathy extended to them constantly, would be the most empathetic people on the planet. Yet they are the least empathetic.
The thing that gets men to feel empathy, is the man feeling empathy. It's like a mental weight - you have to choose to lift it. I can't make you do that by rolemodeling. You have to actually take time and do the work. Actually sit down and think and perspective take without projecting or objectifying. Just radical acceptance. You have to do that work. And only then can you be truly caring, empathetic, or a feminist - by examining your own actions as a man. It's great to allow men to have a sense of community outside of toxic masculinity, but this isn't how men develop empathy or Feminism and that's weird to phrase it like that. Like it's valid for men to punish women by removing rights, voting for Trump, removing empathy, and not being prosocial. In fact, that's quite controlling and abusive.