this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2024
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And no, I don't mean, the supposed "Playful Bullying" (that will upset me too, same with being teased), or being even lightly prodded.

The other day, I was questioned on whether I "actually am a leftist", by a friend. After I nervously answered fairly basic questions such as believing in healthcare and collective labor, they weren't convinced. Ever since that day, I felt like I couldn't be a leftist, especially since I lost any confidence in my ability to be "better" according to that person's standards. If I couldn't satisfy their standards that one time, what would be the point of trying to read theory and trying again? Yes I admit, I haven't tried to read theory. I have no confidence that I would do it correctly.

So, I was already completely lacking in confidence in actually being a good enough leftist. But after that incident where I was bullied and picked on, even for a few minutes... Something in me gave up trying to keep up with the people on this website. It also made me fear and lose confidence in trying, for fear that I would encounter other "Secret Tests of Character" like that.

I feel as though in terms of personality, I am too quiet, too shy, and I have too little to say or contribute anyways, to feel at home here. It feels as though speaking the loudest and having lots to say is what matters the most here, and that is something I cannot do.

So, given that everyone insists "read theory", which I haven't been able to, does this mean I am not at the standards I seem to see here?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

The first among equals as it were. Let's put it this way, artists and ditch diggers are equally important in a socialist society but for some reason everyone wants to be artists.

[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

The first among equals as it were.

Wow its literally like Animal Farm 1984 1984

artists and ditch diggers are equally important in a socialist society but for some reason everyone wants to be artists.

Literal anticommunist talking point, to wit:

What are you talking about, man? You seem to be thinking that a vanguard party is a bunch of pointy head intellectuals pushing up their glasses. It's just the people who are politically aware and actively engaging in organized class struggle. Do you think a ditch digger cannot join or would not be welcomed into a vanguard party?

Read some Mao and free your mind from anticommunist State Department talking points

mao-wave