this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2024
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Even if it wasn't so much "manipulative".

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[–] [email protected] 56 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

Not the most manipulative but

Keep a log of the birthdays, hobbies and names of spouses and children of colleagues, managers, team members and customers.

I learnt this from a guy who did executive search. People remember you, when you remember what is important to them.

When I've lead teams it's one of the first things I find out - note down when someone says "yeah Gary that's my hubby, he's super into gaming"

  • Gary (husband.)
  • likes gaming

When you're a manager, your teams families, partners and friends know your name. Reciprocating that - learning who is important to them - is really important.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

To me this seems less like manipulation and more like you put in the effort to not only be a good boss, but a real person.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

If you care you’re a good person. If you pretend to care in order to network then you’re being mildly manipulative.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Bingo. I think that's the key to it - if you do it with the intent of getting something from someone, people will work that out pretty quickly and resent it. It comes over as being...greasy.

If it's done from the perspective of having genuine interest, care and empathy it makes it easier to work as a group.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Has this ever backfired on you? While your motive is wholesome, I could see the practice itself seeming creepy. Like keeping notes of someone else's life.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Yep. There's people that want to keep distance at work and don't appreciate it. Just have to respect that and leave them to it.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 weeks ago

Yep. There’s people that want to keep distance at work and don’t appreciate it. Just have to respect that and leave them to it.

  • Jane (wife.)
  • likes the pool cleaner boy and has been sleeping with him behind her husband's back for 8 months.

Some people just don't like to have their hobbies shared.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago

I find it less creepy and more disingenuous. But I can appreciate the intention.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

I do this too; it's a great way to get to know your team and develop genuine bonds. People generally enjoy when you show signs of caring and interest in them beyond their work role.