this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 164 points 2 days ago (4 children)

Protip: You wipe after you completely finish shitting, not the entire time you're shitting.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I get all my wipes out at the beginning of the month, that way I don't have to waste time later on

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago

The first week, friends still hang out.

The last 3 weeks Pepé le Pew is their only buddy.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A shitty tip is when your partner didn't wipe before anal

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

As a gay bottom (gottom™), your partner should be doing more than wiping before anal

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

Yes I know. It just doesn't really work with the joke when you explain that they need to also use a nozzle / douche to clean out from the inside.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

Basic maintenance. Trim your asshole and put some lotion up there.

Spread your cheeks when you shit and if its bad really get up in there the first couple swipes. Also eat more fiber

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Speak for yourself. Some of us can poop in parallel.