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Resources to help me make the child or childfree decision (lemmy.world)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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What helped you make the decision to be child-free? How do I be sure about what I want? Looking for recommendation - resources, articles, books etc.

My partner just let me know he would be ready to start trying in a year. My head just spun. I am not ready now at 31 (as a woman and my clock is going tick-tock) and I don't think I will ever be ready. I am neither excited about the process of birthing nor does a crying pooping tantrum-throwing machine excite me!

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I think people tend to know if they want kids or not. Reading isn't going to help you that much.

Most children aren't like that 90%+ of the time. I have 4 and only one really throws tantrums and that's usually after a long day out and they're over tired.

Having children can be one of the most amazing things you do with your life, if you want them ofc. It's really hard to explain just how amazing it is.

You miss out on a load of experiences for sure, but you also get a huge amount of experiences that you wouldn't otherwise.

Personally I didn't make the choice. A drunk night in my 20s did lol but I'm super happy with it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I have 2 kids and I cannot see myself without them anymore. However, they were a conscious and thought out choice I discussed with my partner.

With all of that said, having kids is hard, even when everything is going well. You are not the master of schedule for 10+ years and a lot of extra responsibilities are added to your life that you cannot ignore.

You miss out on a lot of experiences by not having kids, but that's the same thing for having kids. You can do whatever you want whenever you want.