this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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When I had housemates in the past, I respected this until 9AM, at that point, unless you actually have a reason to stay up past 1AM (for an 8hr sleep), then I'm afraid then it sucks to be you and I'll just be normal amounts of quiet.
You just sound like a dick, dude.
Normal amounts of quiet. It's not like I ran around the house banging pots and pans.
I feel like Lemmy really self-selects for "night-owls" (people have different chronotypes sure, but like, if you're staying up to 3,4 AM, then you have sleep issues, it's not a chronotype to be up this late. Humans aren't nocturnal. And I say this as someone who has had sleep issues where I have been up that late. You know what I never did, complained that my housemates closed the door a normal amount at 10AM and made a normal amount of noise at that time).... that feel hard done by.
Like, it's called getting along with others, it's something you need to learn when living in a sharehouse.
I went to bed at 5-6 am for a few years. I didn't have sleep issues whatsoever. Slept the same amount and felt just as rested (more if anything) as now where I have a "normal" sleep schedule.
There's also people that, yknow, work at night, whose sleep might start at 9.
I don't think it's necessarily wrong to not limit yourself greatly on what u do based on if someones sleeping as long as you avoid very loud things (a pleasant fuck you to my mom (love you) for insisting she needs to vacuum at like 11 every second day when I had that sleep schedule), but your reasoning is just bull.
See I actually agree with you on this, to a point, that if you're working night shift and your mum knew about it, then it's pretty unfair to be doing the vacuuming at that time each day if she knows you're going to bed that late.
If you're just deciding/feeling it's better for you to be going to sleep that late with no other reasons, then yeah, I do think it was on you to come to some other compromise with your mum about when she can vacuum. In the early afternoon after you wake up for example.
It's the "other people should work around me by default" attitude that I take issue with. When the standard is be awake during the day (right or wrong), then I think it's on the people asking for deviation from that to ask for accommodation.
Hope this clears things up a bit.
You seem to only be accounting for people who are like yourself. It's hard to picture other people's minds because we only have ours to go by, but it's important to acknowledge that other minds work very differently from our own.
I was a habitual night owl in my twenties. Went to sleep at dawn and woke up around noon. I didn't have sleep issues, I was always incredibly rested and full of energy.
Now I sleep at 10 and wake up around 6. I have less energy but I am now a morning person. I can easily get up at 4 for occasions.
You're making judgements on others based on your own biased view, one that only sees it your way. That's why you're being down voted.
People should be mindful of noise at all times, but if it's late in the morning, I feel it's unreasonable to have an expectation of tip-toeing around without bringing it up and asking if you can come to some sort of an arrangement.
It's the expectation that I think is the problem.
Whereas the expectation that daytime is for normal activity is not unreasonable. Why? Because that is the way it has been and still is. It doesn't mean it's "good", or "fair", but it is the current standard and if you want to deviate from it it should be up to you to say something to get what you need.
We have norms and standards in society that people do expect, these different in different parts of the world. Bring a gift when you meet parents for the first time (east Asia), don't be loud at night (Nachtruhe, Germany). If you want to deviate, then yes, it's on you and communicate.
As I've repeated in other comments, if there is some reason someone needs to sleep at "unstandard" hours, then I'm not suggesting they just deal with it and suffer.
What I am suggesting is that it shouldn't be taken for granted that day time should be treated the same as night, and that staying up late should mean others need to tip-toe around during the day without asking (unless there is some other reason, or you ask for it to be different because XYZ)
That makes sense, thanks for clarifying. I agree, and what it boils down to is healthy communication and respect.
I appreciate you saying that mate.
I'm quite happy waking up at 3pm and going to bed at 6am. To be honest, I think anyone waking up at or before 10am and going to bed before 12am is a weirdo who has sleep issues and I just can't respect that. If I make too much noise when you're trying to sleep, well, that's just too bad innit?
/s
As mentioned in other threads, it's just the expectation that bothers me.
If you're deviating from a social norm (and right or wrong, it is still a social norm), I think it's on you to communicate it properly.
Again, people should be reasonably quiet at all times, but it is unfair to have the expectation that the day will be as quiet as the night without prior discussion.
You've not worked night shifts clearly!
He did mention if you had a reason you had to stay up past 1AM
Work for a living? Unreasonable.
Totally reasonable to have other sleep schedules requiring quiet at certain times of the day, just I think it's on the person asking for something non-standard (and currently it is a social norm to be awake and asleep at certain hours, right or wrong) it's on the person to actually communicate it, rather than expect it.
Is it only rude to slam a door in someone's face between 9am and 6pm? Consideration shouldn't have hours. If anything, I would say doing something inconsiderate would be the person with the onus of asking. Hey, does it bother you when I turn the music up all the way at 7am when I make breakfast? .. yes. Yes it does. If they tell you its fine then it is on them. Still rude, but they were asked.
Who's saying slamming doors? Who's saying turning on music. You're straw-manning me.
I'm saying opening and closing doors normally (still makes some sound unless you're being very, very careful) using the kitchen normally to prepare food (still makes some sound).
Does this seem rude when no indication of other needs is given? If yes, that's my issue with people in this thread, the assumption that night should be treated the same as day by default, and you're a dick otherwise.
My lordy.