this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2023
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On Reddit I just read without logging in. It was nice. I'm trying to help build communities on Lemmy, so I'm posting and commenting.
Since doing that, I've been told I'm enjoying my hobby wrong, that my friends enjoy their hobby wrong, the links I researched for a comment thread are wrong (without references to correct info), and that I'm probably wrong about how I want to live.
I know I should have thicker skin, but the slow drip of unfriendliness is alienating.
I wanted to just upvote this and move on, but I feel like that would be a disservice to you because I feel the same way about commenting.
I would say to just ignore the negative comments and continue to post. good people should not tear each other down like you describe. you never truly know who is replying to you, it could be a kid or someone that has some issues that need to be addressed.
I understand its much easier said than done, but training yourself to have thicker skin is like a muscle, just gotta keep going out there and train it lol. good luck!
Thanks. I've been blocking unfriendly posters. That's working pretty well.
You're not blocking them correctly then, because you're doing your hobby wrong. /s
PS: Good people don't criticize others like you're describing. You're doing the right thing by shrinking their reach into a list of blocked users.
Have you had positive experiences too, or are they primarily negative?
I've had positive experiences, mostly in the shit-posting and meme communities.
Maybe it's just me, but the negative experiences are way more memorable than the positive ones.
Yeah, I definitely feel that way. Positive experiences just feel ambient, and negative experiences feel like distinct events.
Still, I have the sense that Lemmy is mostly positive, even though there are jerks. I have alot of comments with, like... 7 upvotes and 1 downvote, and of course the downvote sticks out in my mind... But then again, way more people were supportive than negative, and that's kinda cool.
They always are.
People need to adhere to “if you have nothing nice to say, it’s better to say nothing at all” if we want Lenny to succeed.
I wish I was better at my hobbies (I plan to invest more in them next year) so I could submit more content and help get communities rolling. I see you have posted a fair few things which I appreciate.
That's just how "real" fans are.
There's nothing real about them though, except their malice.
I am the kind of guy who will make fun of you for watching and enjoying the first few seasons of Disco and Picard because I think they suck, but I've stopped trying to tell people how to enjoy their media. The world is already a miserable enough place without trying to make people feel bad about their content watching habits.
Exactly this.
If someone can be friendly while they're joking around like that, I'm all for it. But it's hard to get that subtlety into a comment.
There's kind of two modes with that. If you're in a bad mood it's easy to just become a bulldozer of anger and malice and just shit on every single aspect of the first seasons. Otherwise, it's just a discussion where we disagree on what things we enjoy.
I find it easier to have a simple discussion here on Lemmy. On reddit you're about 50/50 going to encounter somebody angry and malicious, but here it's probably more like 70/30 towards a good conversation.
This is a part of speaking with people online that I think a lot of us miss. Sometimes we're just cranky and not thinking at our best and sometimes it's the other person. But we too often assume we're dealing with the essential person
If you come to [email protected] you can join us in lampooning then, which makes them much more fun to watch.
Risa is a great community. I don't post there, but I enjoy the memes.
At the same time, Picard mostly sucked... But it was good enough for me to watch through
I feel like half the problem is that not all of us are on the same page. If I say "I think this sucked", I want to talk about it, and if anything I hope someone will recontextualize it for me and make it more enjoyable.
I want to hash it out, because anyone who does that in good faith sharpens their own opinion. Maybe I'm wrong and they convince me to give it a second chance, maybe I'm wrong and realize I only liked it for nostalgia. Or maybe we realize our opinions differ, and narrow down the reason why
I don't think I'd like Picard aside from nostalgia...I don't think it was fun or artistically valuable, but I didn't stop watching. I don't think it's good-If you like it, I'm not going to say you're wrong, but I will argue no one should watch it if they don't love Patrick Stuart already. Not even TNG, the rest of the crew was pretty hollow cameos - his character was badly written, but I watched it through because it was more of his character
Tell them to fuck off. This is the internet. Don't let people do this to you.
I think you're using lemmy wrong if you're encountering that much resistance. /s
But seriously what is this hobby that's so dividing? Are you looking through telescopes backwards or something?
It's D&D. A game played with friends who have their own likes and dislikes. But sometimes they like the wrong thing.
Haha is this the classic minmaxer vs storyteller divide? Or maybe the serious campaign is being ruined by murderhobos?
There's got to be infinite ways to enjoy d&d and so infinite disagreements to be had.