this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2024
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“Kenny just began to gasp for air repeatedly and the execution took about 25 minutes total.”

Pretty compassionate way to kill a person.

Once again, the Law in the south is brutal.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 6 months ago (2 children)

personally i think we should start doing a slightly modified version of the traditional british canon execution.

For those who aren't familar, you strap a dude to the front of a canon, with a dud charge (i don't believe there is a projectile) and then set it off and run. Apparently it's pretty "spectacular" I say we do the same thing but delete the head in the process. Or perhaps add a canon ball because why not.

If we're executing people theres no need to pretend what we're doing is "good"

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (7 children)

Too expensive and dangerous. A 2-ton tungsten cube dropped on the head is quick, painless, cheap, and puts on a show that can be cleaned up with a power washer.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago

We’re going to adopt your proposal but all that’s in the budget is a 45 lb plate from a local gym that closed down. Next execution is scheduled for next week, we hope to see you there!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (4 children)

I imagine that a two ton cube of anything would probably work.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

A two ton cube of mattress foam probably wouldnt. But there is literally only one way to know for sure

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Tungsten is very dense. It is space efficient.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Ahh, 2 tons of duck beaks actually aren't heavy enough, actually

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

Two ton cube of glitter hoss

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Apparently, getting compressed by seawater inside a collapsing carbon fibre tube at a depth of 8kms is ultra quick.

Maybe we should just force condemned prisoners to test-pilot oceangate submarines.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

That's literally the plot of Iron Lung.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

actually, i like this idea. I think someone else mentioned just dropping a massive concrete cube on people for execution. It's a funny one for sure.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Concrete spall would be too dangerous. Trust the tungsten state sponsored murder cube; it is the death of the future, today!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

just makes it more exciting :)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Have you no concern for safety? Somebody could be hurt.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

humans love danger! It's what we've been doing since the dawn of time!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

We are talking about a legal murder here. We don't want any chance that somebody could be hurt. If people want to experience danger, they can play Russian roulette, budget skydive, fly on a Boeing, go to school in America, drive while black, try drugs from China, speed in New York on a motorcycle, explore abandoned buildings and eat the paint, become an amateur arborist, deliver pizzas, be a woman, own a tiger or chimpanzee, take a firearms self-defense course run by a balding guy with a ponytail, or compete in Gol/Nanggol.

There is no need for someone to be uselessly harmed at a state execution! We live in a sane society.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

"go to school in america" or go see a legally performed and orchestrated murder.

Seems perfectly equivalent to me!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Tungsten is not cheap, also it might fracture

[–] [email protected] 20 points 6 months ago (2 children)

It costs about $1.25m to execute one person currently. 2 tons of tungsten costs $60k spot, $240k with government contract as a one-time purchase. If it were to become damaged, it can be recycled into a new state sanctioned penal murder cube. Given the price of tungsten will increase in value approximately 100% per decade, it is a viable government investment.

Elect me to be king of America. I will balance the budget and establish a stranger economy with a dollar backed by state sanctioned penal murder cubes and other innovative and cost-effective measures. We will all be equal in death and that is a promise you can count your votes on.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

If it were to become damaged, it can be recycled into a new state sanctioned penal murder cube.

Lmao

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

I can't agree with this, everyone knows you're supposed to reuse before recycle. The murder cube will look way more badass with some chips and cracks in it

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)

You act like running a country is hard. The only hard part of running America is hiding all your bribes.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Under my administration I will have a website that will clearly show contributions to my throne with one of those donations thermometers that will be updated live and never surpass 7/8th full because the goal is always just a bit more money. Under it you will find about 10 clickbait user-targeted ads, a leaderboard, loser board, and the last 10 donations. There will also be links to my Patreon, Venmo, CashApp, Fansly, and Onlyfans. I am all about transparency and honesty in my rule.

I will use those mandatory contributions to pay for universal healthcare and cutting edge wars of aggression against states with viable economic exploitation possibilities or usable land for battery factories to supply a green infinite rail system that services all major cities without using fossil-fuels to move people and goods.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Hello? It's called "lobbying" and you don't have to hide anything.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Environmentally safe!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

tungsten isn't cheap. look up the prices

and that's a pretty small rod

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

That is a finished machined tungsten rod from a distributor, not a 15 inch cube from a manufacturer. Metal rod is more costly to machine than billet.

Even extrapolating from that invalid example, volume of it would be 2.36 cu in. Volume of 2 tons of tungsten is roughly 3375 cu in. So the price of a 3375 cu in cube at the price of a 1/2x12 tungsten rod would be $594,028.60. Even at a half million per cube, or about $2 million in government spending contracts, the cost savings over just 2 executions is apparent given the $1.25-1.5m cost of one execution.

The cube is reusable and therefore environmentally friendly. We could end up dropping the same cube on generations of victims of state sponsored penal murders in multiple states instead of having to go through vet clinics or welding gas suppliers for unsustainable forms of capital punishment.

When the actual cost of a state sponsored murder cube is closer to $240k($30k per ton plus government contract pricing), it doesn't make financial sense to continue our inhumane state sponsored murder techniques as we do. In 2023 the prison system has murdered 24 people, which cost roughly $30 million dollars of wasted tax-payer dollars. With the Capital Punishment Cube, we could have saved the tax-payers over $25 million by using only 4 cubes plus transport(<$5 per 1000 miles) and powerwashing($200/hr).

Sentencing the probably rightfully convicted to capitol punishment by state sponsored murder cubes is cheaper, more reliable, more humane, more sustainable, and more environmentally friendly. We owe it to the future generations to enact the changes that will make for a better world; state sponsored penal murder cubes are the change we need to make in order provide that better world for the children.

Capital Punishment Cubes are the future of a humane and green justice system.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Only if they eat glitter as part of their last meal.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago

i second this.