this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2024
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To hexbear mods the remove comment button is kind of their version of a downvote. But trans people can get quite sensitive abiut gender neutral pronouns, because they can be used as a socially acceptable way to avoid using their preferred pronouns, an act that is of course incredibly shitty.
Idk like I could see people using gender neutral pronouns to explicitly avoid using a preferred pronoun, but I feel like the actions of those people shouldn't make all usage of gender neutral pronouns as a default way to speak as having that same intent. I didn't intend to misgender anyone. I was just writing a long thing where the person's gender wasn't really relevant, referred to the person once (something like "this is probably their concern," and figured a gender neutral pronoun is kind of inherently inclusive. And I think me giving a literal effort post on the biological reasoning behind a surgery being necessary should have also made it obvious that I wasn't just posting to misgender someone. Idk. I spent like 10-15 minutes writing this thing and I don't think I will ever not be irritated at its removal just because I said "their"
It's one of those things where even though you perceive it as harmless, that's not how other people perceive it. Our pronouns are very visible here on hexbear. In my eyes, if you used gender neutral pronouns to me, it would feel as though you're invalidating my identity and not accepting me for who I am because you can plainly see I go by she/her. It can really hurt. Especially if it's during a very vulnerable time. Even if it is something you perceive as small as that. I know that I am personally fairly sensitive to such matters, so I would certainly remove it or report it for misgendering. I also know that I'm not the only one in the trans community that is sensitive to such matters. Therefore, you really should consider different points of view here.