this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2024
73 points (94.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26933 readers
1060 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 71 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Never. I never, ever lie. About anything. For any reason. And I certainly wouldn't lie on the Internet, in an anonymous forum. I especially wouldn't lie about lying.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Don't ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone for any reason ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been… ever, for any reason whatsoever…

[–] [email protected] 40 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don't remember the last time I lied.

I do a lot of changing the subject or give obtuse answers to avoid lying. If something isn't great, I will focus on the good parts. Like if some food had a bad texture but the taste was good I will mention only the taste instead of just saying it was good or that I enjoyed it, which would be lies.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Do you feel that the omissions are lies?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago (7 children)

Sometimes; it depends on intention - if you want the other person to reach the wrong conclusion due to your omission, then you're lying.

However nobody knows someone else's intentions, so knowing when someone else's omission is a lie or not is impossible.

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Whenever someone asks how I'm doing.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Sorry to hear that.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

I used to just tell people. It... did not go over well:-P. After that I lied, for their sakes b/c they did not truly want to know.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago (2 children)

2 small children need constant lies. How else do noses get stolen?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago

As a person with terrible memory I find that telling the truth requires less work than lying.

If there's no work involved in keeping the lie then sure, I'll lie.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

If you are lying about this, then that means you only tell the truth. However, if you only tell the truth, that means you can't lie. So you cannot say you only lie on Lemmy comments because that would be a lie and therefore not the truth. So if you are lying ERROR ErROr ErrOR PAroDOx deTECteD!!!!!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

More than "never", less than "all the time". I never counted it, so I don't actually know.

I consider lying morally negative (bad). But it isn't such a big negative that can't be somehow justified, in some situations - usually because telling the truth would cause a larger negative.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I consider lying to be on the spectrum of violence. If one can avoid physical violence by telling a lie, then it's justified. However if one is constantly telling white lies in order to avoid causing discomfort to themselves or others then I think there's some room for introspection about your motives and the emotional stability of the people around you.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I consider lying to be on the spectrum of violence.

Could you go further on that? I consider lying and violence apples and oranges, but the idea that they're part of a spectrum is interesting.

About white lies: it's interesting that you mentioned them since it's one of the situations where I actively avoid lying. For me a white lie is a form of belittlement; it's like saying "you aren't a rational human being, but a fragile little piece of junk, that would harm itself with the truth".

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I think that most days, I don't lie at all. I actively try to avoid lying; I have a long history of mental health issues, so I used to lie a lot about how I was doing, to avoid worrying people, but that turned out to be counter productive. If someone asks me how I'm doing, a "eh, getting by :/ " or similar can be surprisingly informative. I've been getting better at gesturing at my general not coping in a way that's not going to give any more information that is appropriate or necessary. I've found that people actually worry less this way.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The problem I have is figuring out how to tow the line properly between lying and being too unfiltered in your truth and making someone uncomfortable. Because for the most part people aren't looking for your life story when they ask you stuff like this.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

When people can trust you to tell the truth, they can trust you’ll ask if you really need help.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (10 children)

What is truth.

Intentionally lie? - never.

I wouldn't call anyone in an anonymous place a valid primary source. So maybe I view all of this as a lie?

I think the very concept of truth should be questioned. Human memory is not truthful or accurate in nature. The very act of remembering has been shown to alter one's recollection.

Science is about consensus, collaboration, and time. There are few binary truths and everything is subject to new evidence and revision based on observation.

I view truth like all oversimplifications. It is useful in a fake idealized world, within a lie - if you will, but absolutes are a fallacy in the real world.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I enjoy your overthinking.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

If a truth is given as an answer such as a favorite color or song, while lying to one's true self about one's underlying complexity, is the answer a truth or a lie?

Green. Why? Because when I asked someone special why she said green, she had the prettiest smile when she said, "It's the color of life."

"Green" is truthful to who I am by a concept with deep meaning; a truth to your intentions and expectations in asking the question; but a lie in saying I have any color preferences for some narrow frequency band in a spectrum.

Did I tell the truth?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (9 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

When I was 19 I decided that I was going to be honest about everything. I don't know why - I guess it just seemed like the "right" thing to do? I'd literally just say anything that came to mind, unfiltered. I lost several good friends and hurt my family members because of it. After that I realized that you just have to lie about some things, or at least keep silent about how you really feel.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

I consciously try not to, but still have those stupid random moments where I realize I just pretended to have already understood or known something. It doesn't happen often, but it creeps in here and there. Why do we do that? Is it just some human insecurity thing?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Frivolous stuff and/or pleasantries it tends to happen. Never for anything important or that matters to a reasonable degree. I do tend to choose my words more carefully if I want to answer but don't want to fully speak on something.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

How do you know anyone is not lying about the amount of times they lie?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Commence meeting

Colleague: How are you?

Me: Pretty good ….

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

I try not to but some social situations are so fucking stupid it's like I don't have a choice.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

I never lie. (Lie)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

If we are counting work speech:

All Day. Every Day.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

If you count obviously untrue statements for humor purposes, quite a lot actually. If you don't, never really, though I admit to the occasional creative diplomatic truth.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I have self-reflected on this a few times. They "say" (I say that in quotes because it's one of those "human nature" generalizations) that the average person lies approximately a hundred times a day but doesn't notice. I was confident I don't fit the mold but took a closer look at that just to make sure. If we're talking about things that are strictly lies, none under average circumstances (on the average day, I don't even speak thirty sentences), but many people have had a thing or two to say about me and semantic liberties (could use the golden compass right about now). My lack of a strong social life (not by choice, I'm not good at formulating my end of a chat) or any wealthy, famous, or powerful position probably saves me from lying anywhere near the amount of times the average person lies.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago (4 children)

I am trying to survive some tough situations where a bit of deception is required. Sometimes it's just easier to dodge the truth and not cause a screaming match because the details don't really mean anything but will cause a problem because things are so difficult and explosive. I don't go around telling lies, but if it'll help me get through the day in my relationship I'll definitely skew things.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

I really don't lie. Unless it's for safety or a white lie not to hurt someone's feelings, I don't feel the need to stoop to lying.

I accept my faults and I'll admit wrongdoing before I lie. I'm not concerned with what other people think of me, so I speak my truth even if it will drive others away from me. If that happens, they aren't the kind of people I want to associate with anyway.

I value honesty, authenticity, and empathy and hold myself strictly to the standards I've set in my mind and personal philosophy.

I don't lie or say anything on the internet that I wouldn't say in real life. I can't personally comprehend the point or drive to lie on the internet. I'd rather focus effort on self-actualization rather than make-believe.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

To other people, sometimes. Not enough to be labled a liar. To myself, all the time.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

I almost never do but sometimes people need to hear something and the lie is for their benefit rather than mine . Like if someone asks me if they are going to be okay i can't just go full honest and say no your shit fucked so i say yes .

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Never…. (That’s a lie)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Does "I wish you a nice day" count?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

It varies mostly on the subject and situation. Outside of with a few people and a few situations I won’t hesitate to lie if it serves my needs more than the truth and I think I can get away with it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It is omitting a truth a lie?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

As a purveyor of the wonderful art of sarcasm, a decent amount. Otherwise, very infrequently.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Probably a few times a day, depending on what I'm doing.

I work in a small office, and answer the phones. Most of the time the call needs to be transferred on. Standard operating procedure if someone can't take the call is to say they're "unavailable, can I get them to call you back?" and, if pressed, "on another call at the moment". This is usually untrue - we don't get many calls, so 99% of the time it'll either mean they're in the bathroom, having lunch or just don't want to talk to an overly needy client who keeps calling at the moment.

I'll often also lie about my position if a client questions why I can't handle their call. It's easier to say I'm just the receptionist or something isn't my department, than explain why this either needs to be handled by someone else or would be far cleaner that way.

Oh, and I lie about why I'm putting people on hold all the time. I'm often not bringing up your file or whatever - I did that while we were talking.

load more comments
view more: next ›