this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2024
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] [email protected] 119 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago

The Sticky Bandits, lol!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No, this is a picture of OP:

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Man, Steve's had a tough couple years

[–] [email protected] 77 points 6 months ago (9 children)

You might get away with it, but here’s the part that really sucks: you’d be stuck in the shed until they opened the next day. No riding a bike down the aisles, not even any trips to the bathroom. The alarm system likely has motion sensors, and the cops are called automatically when the alarm goes off.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (5 children)

I used to work at Costco in loss prevention (for real) - yes you'd be found instantly. However, rather than calling the cops, the store would autonomously release the intruder bot 3000, which would deal with the problem and clean it up prior to store open. It's really cool what AI can do nowadays.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago

ED209 you scary, jittery motherfucker

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago (1 children)

They probably have employees stocking at night. So no security system unless you try to open the wrong door, but you'll still probably get caught.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Good point. That may be the case as well. Either way, no bathroom breaks!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hear me out. Pajamas that look like Costco stocker uniforms. Slip em on before bed. Gotta go, just walk quick, it'll buy you enough cover.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Costco evening employee here:

Yeah, we check those at closing time. As well as behind the mattresses, the bathrooms and anywhere else someone might reasonably hide. There are generally people stocking stuff for 3-4 hours after the store closes and from 5 hours before the store opens in the morning.

There's a small window when the place is completely empty, but it's only from about midnight to 4am.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (2 children)

How about in the rafters? Can you guys even physically check up there? I'm just asking for a friend.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

They have those electric lift things. They can check up there.

I don't know their proper names. We just called them scissor lifts

Edit: apparently that is their proper name.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

There are scissor lifts and there are cherry pickers and both are called that officially.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

And if you want to be a nerd, a MEWP

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Mobile elevated work platforms! I prefer MEWP because I can call out "MEWP!" as I point at one and my coworkers can start MEWPing along with me like a clutch of hungry chicks.

We take work seriously.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

We don''t check there, as we can literally look up into the rafters. But we do have the tools to physically check if we need to.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Just because the store closes doesn't necessarily mean it's empty, there's probably people restocking and cleaning in there

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (2 children)

This. The parking lot always has cars because of the night shift restocking, cleaning, etc.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

And the homeless living out of their cars staying in a lot where they will not be disturbed by pigs.

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Not Costco but I walked into Walgreens last night about 10 minutes before close (paycheck didn't come through until fuckin' 9:45) to get some smokes and while I was standing at the register, they shut off the lights and only noticed me when someone came to lock the front door.

I get the feeling nobody is gonna be looking in the display shed for you. The only thing on their mind is closing out and going home. lol

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Idk, the staffing at a Costco might be better.

If your a supervisor at a drug store, unless it's stocking day, you have yourself and a cashier, maybe another for some overlapping hours who is tasked with re-stocking/facing. The techs and pharmacist pretend like they aren't associated with the rest of the store and just walk right out without a care in the world. So at the end of the night, it's up to one individual to ensure the pharmacy drawers are removed, the pharmacist locked properly, and the store is clear.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I love how you used pharmacist as both a location and a person in the same paragraph, and now I'm picturing them locking the pharmacist in a little cage after someone chases after to catch them when they just walk out.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

Oh wow, that is confusing.

It's very important to lock the pharmacist up each night. Otherwise they might talk to people and get some funny ideas about becoming a clinical or industrial pharmacist.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

You can get away with it if you cling to the ceiling Splinter Cell style when they check it for the night. Nobody looks up.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

They even wrote a whole movie celebrating it! I believe it was called "Avoid Turning Your Gaze Skyward" or something like that..

[–] [email protected] 29 points 6 months ago

It's possible. It happened frequently enough at IKEA that it became an internet meme/challenge and they had to start prosecuting people who did it.

The general store employees have a big "not my job" attitude about it. If it's time to clock out, it's your problem that you're still in the store after closing. Not likely to confront you about it unless you are wandering the aisles.

Cleaning staff will probably tell someone if they find you hiding out.

Security guards will be actively looking for you and also search in obvious places like tents and sheds that are set up indoors, as well as behind shelving units, in the backrooms, etc.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yes, they check that kind of thing

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

If they're doing their jobs yes, I've found over time that even security guards aren't immune to people who just rubber stamp shit.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

That thing is one bathroom away from becoming a 240,000 dollar tiny house

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Check YT, Steve Wallis has probably already done it!

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Challenge accepted!

Later:

24 HOUR OVERNIGHT CHALLENGE IN HOME DEPOT!!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

24 HOUR OVERNIGHT

..how far north of the Arctic Circle IS this Home Depot? 🤔

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

"The store is now closed, please exit the building."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

It's funny the amount of people thinking this is a hardware store, I would recognize those aisles and ceilings anywhere. That's a Costco (the particular style of price plate also gives it away)

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The /r/Costco screenshot is also a good indicator

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Apsolutly not 😁

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I read a couple of very fun children's books based on that premise when I was a kid.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

My first stop after closing time would be the gigantic apple pie in the bakery section.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

What are you going to do with it?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Likely not. If it weren't for the proximity sensors and contact sensors on the doors we'd never know when the mother-in-law escapes.

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