this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2024
877 points (99.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

25935 readers
3096 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 174 points 4 months ago (12 children)

Phrases that make absolutely no fucking sense in 194 countries out of 195

Elementary school police officer

😳

[–] [email protected] 89 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago

Kindergarten Grenadier.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm an American, and I've never heard of this. I think it might mostly be a joke at the expense of the shithole officers of Uvalde.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (2 children)

They are often called "resource officers" and there was at least one in every public school I went to (east coast).

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

2 at our highschool, 1 in jr high

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

My high schools (private and public) had security guards

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

I'd yeehaw if'n twernt so sad.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

gotta teach those kids how to lick boots early on in life.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (13 children)

I think less than 193 tbh... In Latvia, a Social Democrat party has proposed surveillance cameras and pigs in schools. I'm pretty sure in other countries there has been talk as well

https://www.baltictimes.com/news/articles/6104/

load more comments (13 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Must be Arnold Schwarzenegger working there

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Well, you wouldn't want to let all these kids play with their guns without an officer to watch over them, would you?

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 58 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I have a special hate for inspirational water bottles, stickers or notebooks.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I have a special hatred for school police officers.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Me too, although it's slightly less than normal ones, the only thing ours ever did was stop kids punching each other and DARE once a year.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

D.A.R.E.- Drugs Are Really Enjoyable

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

D.A.R.E. - Drugs Are Really Expensive (and nobody is just going to give you drugs)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

the only thing ours ever did was stop kids punching each other

Ngl that sounds pretty good

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Ours got a kick over charging kids with felonies that would follow them the rest of their lives.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (3 children)

School Resource Officers can't charge kids with felonies only a prosecutor can do that. A cop can arrest someone. Now you might think I'm being pedantic but I think it is an important distinction. Many times we blame cops and completely over look the fact that some of the blame lies with the prosecutor.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

Yeah, but even if they're arrested and the charges are dropped, they still have an arrest on their record, which many/most colleges ask about on their applications.

Watch the John Oliver episode about School Resource Officers, you'll see one girl arrested and charged (I believe they dropped it though) with a felony/bomb charge for popping her water bottle cap like we used to do in school (y'know, twist the bottle, and then unscrew the cap and it pops off).

Another kid, special needs, was arrested and manhandled because he lightly carved "[Name] was here" into a concrete wall, which his mother had him come back and clean off. John put the kids name on his wall so that everyone would know "a legend was here," which is the reason the kid gave for why he did it in the first place.

Schools don't need cops, they need social workers, counselors, and proper funding. Not a chode with a gun and an authority fetish. Our school officer used to make friends with all the kids dealing drugs/getting in fights, while our principals/vice principals would scream at kids to take their hoodies off. And they wonder why kids think school is a joke.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

But can’t most cops use their discretion and not arrest the kid in the first place bypassing the prosecutor completely?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 4 months ago (2 children)

If your expected to empty this everyday you'll eventually end up being diabetic.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Cirrhosis of the liver will get you first.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Pfft. You're underestimating the human liver.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

If we're not joking, I kind of think the liver would go first. Unless your mixing it to like a 4% ABV, then maybe the beetus might get ya first.

Honestly there is a good chance you stress your liver out so much that the sugar and your food (bc let's be honest, your probably not eating healthy either) gets turned into a shitload of triglycerides and you stroke out or have a heart attack from too long of hyperlipidemia.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (7 children)

Sugar free coke would be the way to go.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Skip the Coke altogether, to much caffeine. Just stick to rum neat.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

After that much it would be rum messy.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (4 children)

The hell is a school police officer??

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Spotted the non-American! I'm very envious of your ignorance of this bullshit

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

In the good ol USA, schools often have what's called a school resource officer. Meant to be the connection between school kids and the police department, they have been useful for truancy and other problems that happen with students ( esp. high school age) at schools.

Although more recently they've been the (mostly) reliable first contact in the event of a school shooter, the SRO is usually first on scene and relays into to responding officers.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

Although more recently they've been the (mostly) reliable first contact in the event of a school shooter, the SRO is usually first on scene and relays into to responding officers.

Well that was the idea anyways

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

The dude we had to bribe with egg rolls to go to the chinese place off campus for lunch back in the 90s. Now Idunno.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Is not it supposed to be chilled? By noon it will be warm, and drinking warm coke is just disgusting, unless it is mostly alcohol, and then you would just not remember.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

USB police fridge baby

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Had one of those at a previous job once Got stolen after a few days

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Were you working as an elementary school police officer?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Stop lying. You know you're a kindergarten teacher.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next β€Ί