Asklemmy
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
We took care of both of our moms. It's hard. Money helped a lot - MIL had a nice savings So we never had to pay for anything. My mom had long-term care insurance, so that and her savings covered her care. It's very very stressful. You have to be able to get away occasionally and that's either hiring someone or begging friend/family for help. I hope that I'm accepting of what my kids tell me is best for me. Looking back, I wish I had listened more to what my mom told me she wanted/didn't want.
My wife and I take care of her father. It is tough sometimes but he has a great disposition. He is always willing to try things to better his health or our living arrangement. He has just about every serious health issue known to the scientific world. From that I know what I will/am avoid(ing): don't smoke your whole life, stay away from old asbestos piping, eat less salt/sugar.
Even with those changes, I'm not sure our outlook is going to be much better. We don't have kids so I guess the nursing home is more likely for us.
The best idea I have heard is to write letters to future self after certain difficult times that you go through with your parents as they age in order to remind your future self of the logical arguments against the most likely arguments of your future self.
The most persuasive argument should be the person who you have picked to give you the letter, and that fact should feature prominently in the letter.
Fuck that noise, I hit 70, I'm heading into the woods with some pills and whatever else I can get my hands on and just not coming back. Let some coyote munch my bones after I go out high as a kite
Many people say this, almost nobody does it.
Well, anything can happen in two decades.
But I've got some supplies set aside just in case, whether the in case is then, or because something untenable happens in between.
Do you have no next of kin?
Currently, yeah. No idea what it'll be like in twenty years.
Not that it matters, it isn't about them, it's about what I'm willing to put up with just to squeeze out more years
Have a healthy spiritual life. That is, not be overly busy with myself. To be able to look beyond yourself and see that it's all connected.
A lot of people struggle with their egos and when you have to start facing the fact that it's transient you better be able to leave that behind or it's going to cause a lot of pain. I've seen it plenty of times.
Intentional heroin overdose
Oh I don't plan too, I'm just around while mom is around, don't want her getting sad and stuff
I honestly don't think we'll age that much at all. With the heat stress from warming climates, bodies riddled with microplastics and so on, we will likely have a short, albeit painful, existence.
Hunting rifle