this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2023
7 points (100.0% liked)

Transfem

3306 readers
34 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Its hard to justify the cost mostly. It's also mildly amusing watching people stumble a bit if I have to show my ID for something. But getting called my deadname at the bank is starting to get tiresome ๐Ÿ™ƒ

top 15 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I need to do my birth certificate before Missouri makes it illegal.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yep! It's been five years so far of hrt for me and I still haven't legally changed my name. Most likely that's due to having felt like names were all fake for so much of my life. Yet why was I so jealous of my friend who just picked her own new name in grade school and got away with it? My state in the us still requires running a newspaper ad for a while which isn't something I'm looking forward to and the state I was born in requires gcs to change birth certificates. There's a fair possibility that I'm intersex as well though which would allow me to have my birth certificate changed to reflect that with only a test of some sort. I'm definitely going to get it all done before the end of the next presidential election here since who knows what horrors might happen if the republicans won in this climate.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What's the newspaper ad for? Is it publicly announcing that your trans or something?

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

In California they require public notice of name change unless it is for marriage status change or associated with a gender change.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That sums it right up I think but supposedly its for the worlds creditors who all read your local newspaper to watch for us changing our names just to get away from debts.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I got mine waived as my mom already stalked my sister around town and posted about militant lesbians when she started dating women.

I think you can extend that to alt right terrorists.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Thats probably a good idea considering the possible political climate. The newspaper thing is horrible though, I understand the idea behind it but its so unnecessarily public..

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I didn't think I was going to want to, but as I start to pass more I started to hate getting deadnamed or misgendered when using my credit card/license/accounts. But if I knew how much work it was going to be when I started I probably would have put it off longer!

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Yeahhhh, the cost is hard to justify. I filled out the forms to have my gender marker changed but they sent them back asking for a bunch of family info that I don't know lol. Then I got grs and have been too preoccupied with post surgery stuff to try again. I will eventually though :P

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's my gender that I haven't updated on my birth certificate. It's been 6 years for me, and I just can't be bothered jumping through the hoops

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Me too. I sent all the forms for it once and they sent them back with a bunch more document requests and I just haven't bothered doing it since.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's a lot of work, but having a matching ID is very convenient. And if someone asks for my deadname, I can tell them "I don't know anyone by that name"

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Scam callers with data from years ago too call and I'm like, nope, sorry, wrong person. Not to mention Voice Training makes them realise wrong gender too. ๐Ÿ˜…

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I got my name change almost 7 years ago in Arizona (US). It wasn't awful (the actual court date was a breeze, besides the waiting); but it was a pretty serious headache just figuring out where to start, and the court filing did take $300 that I probably wouldn't have had at another time in my life.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Been using my new name for 10 years, but have been putting off the legal change because I just deeply hate legal systems and paperwork. But it gets harder and harder to see that old name on my ID or anything financial related, so going to suck it up and get it done this year.