this post was submitted on 27 May 2024
122 points (92.4% liked)

Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

Right now, here’s the rules:

  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
  3. No AI posts whatsoever, and any images that were altered (Ex: Photoshop, Gimp) need to be tagged.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

That looks pretty good tbh. Like mixing corn and peas into your mashed potatoes and gravy.

I’m Canadian though, we have a fries and gravy bias.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm not Canadian, but the first thing I thought was poutine. Add some cheese curds and I'd give this a try.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Is it bad I want to try it? But yeah it definitely needs cheese curds, maybe some pulled pork too.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Is that gravy or BBQ sauce?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ok this is new evidence.

If it’s barbecue sauce it’s off.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

I'd still take it if it were barbecue sauce, tbh.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Would that change anything?

I love me some fries and BBQ sauce. The corn, yeah alright I'll dance with the devil.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Gravy. Though BBQ sauce wouldn't be much worse.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Owen, we talked about this at the last Canada meeting.

The one where I proposed that simple gravy and fries is better than poutine.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

No crimes detected. Would eat and enjoy. It's not a proper poutine, would be improved by cheese curds, but impossible to be bad.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I'm almost certain that's barbecue sauce. Gravy doesn't look like that

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A disturbing possibility which reopens a case I thought long closed.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

A Chinese Pizzaria that I worked at added "Chinese Poutine" to the menu. Instead of cheese curds we just used the pizza cheese, and instead of gravy it got brown sauce. So fries, beef grounds, chicken pieces, brown sauce, cheese. Send that halfway through the oven, top with green onion. The Canadians that tried it said, "well it's good, but definitely not poutine."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

What do you mean? That looks like completely normal gravy to me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Honestly makes it sound better

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The food doesn't look good, but as a Nebraskan, I'm just happy to see Iowa out here taking shots.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

On the other hand, you do have to live in Nebraska. :)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Oh God, it sounds horrible.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Let's call this "Putin". It's kinda like poutine but also a crime against humanity.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That would actually hit well....

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Send it over to /c/weedtime - they'd destroy it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

All y'all out here saying this looks good have never had decent gravy. But I agree better versions of the components put together make for a great non-nutritious snack after a night out.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

non-nutritious

It has carbs, what more could you need?

/s

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I bet you it's 🔥

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Tomato-tomato

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Looks like what people who don't know what cheese is might think poutine is by looking at a bad picture

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I used to do this with mashed potatoes.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Looks a whole lot like a garbage plate from a different state, I don't discriminate.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

This food is just a rental.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Y’all down for this - for fries this soggy?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Corn chips!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

That's disguising.

Where are the beans?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That looks bomb and I'd eat the fuck out of it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Too bad it’s AI but feel free to recreate it IRL

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I've never personally seen this as a Des Moines resident for 25+ years, but I do think it would go down well at our fairgrounds. Can't imagine anyone regularly ordering or cooking it though as generally people tend to prefer mashed potatoes or soft foods (meatloaf?) when gravy is involved.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

mmmm teriyaki corn fries

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

As long as it hasn't been sitting for the fries to get doggy, that looks awesome

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

As an Iowan, I pass

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

PA native... I'd eat the hell out of that.