Now it's more important than ever to go. We need to show the transphobes and homophobes out there that we LGBTQ+ people and our allies are far more numerous than they think.
Trans
General trans community.
Rules:
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Follow all blahaj.zone rules
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All posts must be trans-related. Other queer-related posts go to c/lgbtq.
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Don't post negative, depressing news articles about trans issues unless there is a call to action or a way to help.
Resources:
Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.
Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en
StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/
Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/
[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map
[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination
[USA] Keep track on trans legislation and news: https://www.erininthemorning.com/
[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/
[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/
[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org
*this is a work in progress, and these resources are courtesy of users like you! if you have a resource that helped you out in your trans journey, comment below in the pinned post and I'll add here to pass it on
Pride is one of the seven deadly sins.
So naturally I love it.
I used to go to the Pride parade and festival in San Francisco every year after high school. I only stopped due to scheduling and money. Easy to get there with just some gas money; but I hate not being able to buy anything from the vendors.
We already have "trans pride" and "gender envy", what about trans sloth?
Trans sloth is where you procrastinate on all the tasks that go into "fully" transitioning.
Like this one company that requires me to submit some legal paperwork before they let me update my name on their dinky little web portal. I could, but... Ehhhh... Do I really care that much right now...?
Or that massive pile of boy-clothes I had in the corner of my room for months because I kept putting off donating them.
I have a pile like that right now!
... nap time with Blahaj?
i still don't even have a Blahaj. i would much rather cuddle with a person though.
Fair 'nuff! Grab your favorite person and fall asleep on the couch watching movies. Sloth is an excellent sin to choose, I'd give you a brochure but I didn't feel like making one.
god i would love that so much. maybe one day ❤️
it's a crapshoot, when i went to my local pride it was half cops carrying thin blue line flags and zero people gendered me right even after being corrected, and i only felt more alienated the longer i was there and the more people i talked to.
the gay bar i ended up in was even worse for trans acceptance, literally the first thing said to me as i walked in the door was "you're actually a guy right?" (i was dressed up as fem as i could manage with my time budget and assets), and i spent most of my time alternating between trying to escape a badly cross-dressed chaser and being shouted at by some drag queen that took offense to me walking past her so many times in my bids to escape that creep.
i honestly feel lucky for not winding up getting SA'd or worse, i've never been made to feel so uncomfortable before or since. all in all, it was pretty emotionally damaging, especially as i was only recently out and had just lost my entire social circle about it. i wish people wouldn't talk up "the community" to newly out folks because "the community" doesn't fucking exist, your local cliques do. and some of those are going to be filled with awful people, because being gay doesn't make you a decent human.
i'm not saying every city's pride is going to be like this, but if you're not familiar with the local scene definitely go with friends (actual friends, not some random gay person who says they want to be your friend so they can borrow a bunch of money and then ditch you at some random gay club and then block your number when you're not happy about it, the way i did), and bring a weapon.
tl;dr easily among the worst experiences of my life, and i'm never going again
i've never gone, and this encapsulates some of my many fears and doubts.
i'm really sorry that happened to you, and i hope that you have real friends in your life now that are there for you ❤️
you know, the worst part of that experience was all the absolute gaslighting i received anytime i tried to discuss my experience, both online and in meatspace. lemmy is like the only place i've found where i can be real about my experiences with the gay scene in that city and not get shouted down or accused of concern trolling.
anyway i got the hell out of that entire state a couple years ago and now keep to myself waaaay out in the middle of nowhere with my wife and cats and spend my time making silly computer games. life's good without that clique-centric social performance crap wearing on me.
like i said, bring a good friend that you know well, and a weapon as your local laws and rules at the event permit. a lot of my situation stemmed from having neither.
at this point, i'm not planning to go. i have no one to go with me, don't own or feel comfortable having a weapon, and live in a generally unsafe place (Louisiana). i'll attempt to go to a support group next month. right now i have no one.
The traditional weapon for Pride, as I understand it, is a brick, correct?
And what state so I can avoid it? I want out of my state (Ohio) and I'm more inclined to take someone's personal experience in mind than some random post saying "oh X state is soOOooOo supportive".
nice reference, i was thinking more along the lines of a stun gun or knife, or even a small firearm.
this was in Austin, TX, which 1) should explain why i think bringing a firearm to a parade is appropriate, and 2) i shouldn't have to say don't go to Texas, not even with the justification that "well Austin is more progressive". it is not progressive it's neoliberal af and full of douchebag techbros and yuppies. go west or east, don't go south.
DEFINITELY no plans for Texas, bad enough I was born there, lucky to have left the state before I was even 5 years old
Hell I have no plans to live further south than Ohio, I don't handle "hot" or... sunlight.
i wouldn't call that a weapon, in the context that it was used. more of a specialty tool and now a symbol.
I'm not a "participate in events" kinda person unfortunately. Crowds stress me right the fuck out. It would be out of character enough for me that I would more or less out myself if seen.
I will express my disgust that my workplace is doing a chick fil a fundraiser during pride month tho.
Pride is where my people are. I'll be there! But it's not until September in my city
i don't think i'm gonna go to public events, but i did at least find a local support group, and i'm gonna try to go there.
(idk when, or even if, i can return to the matrix side; i don't know why. but i wanna make sure y'all know i'm okay.)
I'm mixed. Some people take things too far such as getting offended at gender neutral pronouns or getting angry when someone misgenders by mistake. I've seen some people tiptoeing around me out of fear that I'll rage on them if they accidentally use the wrong pronoun and it's honestly sad. People shouldn't have to fear retribution for a mistake.
I'm honestly terrified to show who I am outside of my home too unless I'm at a convention that's open to it. Right wings are getting scary and I'm in Ohio.
I'm otherwise okay with showing some pride within certain areas. I just feel like I should be more reserved about it.
Agreed, the red hat brigade is very prominent in this state, and weirdly stealthy about it. Jan 6 revealed a loooot of disgusting behavior in my workplace at the time, as did the BLM protests. Lot of antivax nuts too.
I think pride is cool and it sometimes help pass some LGBTQ+ friendly laws. it's actually going to be my first pride, I'm not out though!
Are you planning to go to any Pride events? You don't have to be out. Typically, everyone is welcome.
Yes I am, my queer friends actually invented me to come with them! :)
I'm planning on going to pride this year since I've never been. I have a hard time with crowds so I probably won't go every year, but as someone who's kinda stuck in a rural area, it'll be nice to see other queer people.
😐
wanna talk about it? i feel like i'm in a similar emotional state right now.
I'm volunteering for several online events as well as my local pride.
I'm not really seeking out any events. Personally, I see it less as a time to celebrate and more as a time to remind others that I exist and I'm not afraid to be out. And I do that every time I leave the house anyway.
I'm sorta male-nb (not especially cis but not quite trans at this point) so my experiences aren't the same as a trans person. Much of the queer community seems to be on the softer side, but I'm hoping to find something harder at one of these events or something. There isn't much in my area, but hopefully for a month the gays will be loud and proud enough for me to strike up conversations.
Despite being out as Bi for almost 6 years, and out as trans for just over a year, I have not yet been. Partially because I used to live in Texas, partially because I wanted help (invite your friends people, queer or not) going. It sounded unfamilar, and the small city I lived in was not giving off good vibes at all.
Last year I planned on going to the event that also coincided with my birthday, but I ended up being unable to attend any functions because I was "taking a vacation". 😉🤪
This year, I've moved to a far more enlightened part of the country, and I've been 100% living as me in public throughout it. I would be going even if I didn't have a partner, but they are so supportive and we plan on attending at least a couple events together, and I'm quite excited!
As far as my thoughts go on the subject, I like the idea of pride, and I think if its safe for you to do so and you are able to attend an event, you should go.
- you're going to meet people who lack the loud and ignorant opinion of your sexuality and gender that is far too common. This is important for your health. Any time I've spent time with another outwardly open and queer person, I leave feeling much more secure and confident.
- you're not just going for you, you're going for those who cannot. (Again, if you can plan for your safety.) There is a * lightly modified* phrase often said in church that (most hilariously) so applies here: you may be the first queer somebody sees.
- along the same lines as the previous, local pride events are a huge component of the roots and supporting structure for the LGBTQIA+ community at large. This is a chance to not only inform and involve yourself, but also a chance for you have your influence on it. All of the many various complaints we have internally about our community must go beyond the confines of a keyboard.
- Its gonna be fucking fun. It might even be some fucking fun, if thats something you want to go for 😉
This month is gonna be fun. And while there are plenty of companies who are gonna make money and plenty of political heads who will use it for their platforms (good and bad), that doesn't mean you shouldn't go. If we went be that rule, then buying anything, or really even doing anything, would need to be avoided altogether too. And while I'm pretty far fucking left, I'm not going to suffer and shoot myself in the foot as protest because there are way more effective ways to change the world, and they're all way more fun too.
Until we can be prideful without recourse all year all-round we can sure settle with one month... for now.
But on the flipside, the pride month is often taken over by corpos with hollow gestures and this is blood boiling.
Lots of small-ish cities around me, I’ll probably end up going to 2 or 3 separate pride events (last year I made it to 2). This will be my first time fully “out” rather than undercover as an “ally”, so I’m excited!
Its just ok. Its mostly just hanging out in a park and is super commercialized. If you're a little more socially outgoing, go around and talk to people and try to make friends. Easier at a bar. Unfortunately, some people got handsy with me at a gay bar before so I'm not a big fan of it anymore. I've gone to pride basically every year since coming out, sans the covid ones where they stopped hosting it for a while.