this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2024
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Weird News - Things that make you go 'hmmm'

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Damn, I missed the "by a" and thought a woman swallowed a python and thought, "fuck yeah, see how you like it, you bastard!"

Need my coffee.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I love this

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago

I'd have 3 nickels which isn't a lot but weird that it happened three times.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Dumb question but the snake kills the person before swallowing them right?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The snake usually constricts the person or animal until they die by suffocation, due to an inability to expand the lungs. There have been cases where they eat living creatures, including people, but suffocation is pretty guaranteed once they swallow the head.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What a shitty way to go, if you're not quite dead before it decides to swallow you 😫

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Luckily constricting snakes can feel you gasping for air. It makes them constrict even more. The use to much energy to not fully kill its prey.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

It is doing a lot of heavy lifting.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yes, they constrict their victims until they die of asphyxiation, then they swallow them head first.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

When I was growing up in Jakarta, they found two enormous pythons in the culvert right next to the elementary school. They sacrificed a goat to lure them out, then when they were dated they just packed them up and took them to a local safari park. The smaller one was about 21 feet long, while the bigger one was 24 or 25. Just huge.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Thoar's a very calculated and mature response to something that could literally eat you children

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

They found kraits in culverts next to the kindergarten the next year. They just killed those.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

On a side note, mosquitos can literally eat your children too. Pineapple too.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

that's why i grew so large; so i can't be swallowed easily.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Python: .. hsssss ... challenge accepted.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I dunno what would be a better attempt at self defense against such large snakes, but I think I'd start carrying around both pepper spray and also a stun gun, just in case.

No idea if either would be fully effective, but damn that would be a hell of a way to go, might as well try to be prepared to defend myself.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'll take a machete and a shot gun thanks.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's if you spot it before it grabs you. I imagine it's gonna be hard to aim a shotgun or swing a machete once the snake starts constricting you.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

The one thing snakes like this do quickly is grab and coil around their prey. Everything else is slow slow slow. You’d really need some sort of pepper spray in a breakable tube that activates upon constriction. Hmmmmm….

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You spelled flamethrower wrong.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Your autocorrect accidentally replaced the word aerial bombing.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

My spell check gave me .... thermo nuclear device

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Damn, hate it when that happens.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

You mean orbital bombing?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I used to use rubbing alcohol on my pet snake's nose if he accidentally latched onto me instead of his food. I don't have any idea if that would work on snakes that kill by constriction though

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just politely ask the snake that is eating you to wait a minute while you get your alcohol and cotton balls ready.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Maybe it's enough to be highly intoxicated when outdoors. 🤷‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Fair enough, seems a handy enough trick.

In that case, I'd probably carry around a super soaker water gun loaded with some strong alcohol, and just hope I'd be able to shoot it at a distance before it gets close enough to wrap around me.

Could also in a pinch light the alcohol on fire as a crude flamethrower, packing a double punch...

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Cue pissed-off flaming snek coming at you fast...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Damn, you're right. Welp, guess I'll bring my chainsaw too..

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

All these assume that you'll see the snake before it latches onto you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Very true..

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm assuming the person has at least one hand free. A big "that's not a noife, this is a noife" would solve the problem lickety split. If both arms are pinned then there isn't much you can do. Try to bite it I guess, but they're used to being bitten by animals much more ferocious than humans.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wear a special constrictor armor that deploys buzz saws if it's ever squeezed with enough force to break ribs.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

That's awesome!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Snek scoffs at humans' tiny bite force.