I quite like the (I think?) Jewish curse: "may your laundry never dry". That would suck wearing clothes that are always slightly damp.
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Calm down Satan!
I know you jest, but the more you think about it, the nastier a curse it is. For example, your crack would always be itchy. You'd never be able to put your clothes away because mold would devour them. And so on.
Every set of stairs has one step that is slightly taller than the rest
Don't bother with steps that are each different β making steps the wrong height/length is enough. If you ever walked up/down stairs that felt really weird it's probably because the builder ignored the international standards on that topic and built steps that are a couple centimeters off.
You know how you sometimes get a pebble stuck under your shoe and walking just feels weird until you remove it?
That, but thereβs no actual pebble.
You lose the ability to differentiate between a fart and a poo.
Crohns and colitis say hi
Bell ringing sound every time you get an erection
That could be deafening in certain public spaces.
No matter how hard one squeezes, thereβs ALWAYS three or four drops of pee leftover, poised to strike after one finishes their business.
IT WAS YOU!
Make it so that when you arrive home you're never allowed to put your keys in the same place more than once.
Forgot something in the car and have to go back out? Time to find a new spot...
Eyelids become translucent. In other words, you can still see anything and everything when your eyes are closed.
You must greet everyone you meet with a handshake and ten seconds of uninterrupted eye contact. Forced smiles and a serious talk about how you really are doing are also mandatory.
Pretty awkward if you ask me :)
USB-C now has the same connector directionality problem that USB-A does
Id like to think it would still work both ways mechanically, but would be one sided electrically.
Everyone is ever so slightly telepathic, functionally making a web of felt emotions with no thoughts connecting them so what you feel from this is basically a summary of the people in the area around you.
Example: Everyone could be focused at work, nothing major going on, until someone thinks about their significant other and all of a sudden there's a tiny bit of horny thrown in the mix, everyone knows its there, and no one knows who put it there.
Any time you use something powered by a fossil fuel your pinkies ache about as much as a lightly stubbed toe.
You never hear someone the first couple times they try to pay you a compliment
Mirror every object. You don't realize how many things are designed with a right-handed assumption unless you aren't right handed. Also, most people can't read well anymore because it's all backwards
Remove the ability to remember if you turned something off.
Joke's on you, I already can't.
Telepathy for everyone. Instant chaos.
It always takes three rotations to plug in a USB cable.
OP said you have to change something, not describe the world like it is
Everyone's butt hole could be anywhere on their body. Everyone needs a different kind of toilet to properly position themselves. Everyone starts aligning themselves as friends based on the location of their butt hole. "Oh sorry I can't stay too long. My butthole is in my armpit."
It's impossible to determine the charge level of phone batteries. It's now up to you to keep track or your activities and estimate when you'll need to charge, otherwise it will just turn off on its own when the battery runs out.
Both of these are my moms ideas.
First your cars never start.
Or the other option
We no longer have cell phones, we have to go back to land lines.
The second really isnβt much of an issue after an adjustment period. Might even improve our lives by killing off social media
I'd make every scissor a little bit loose so whatever it's cutting turns sideways and gets stuck near the end.
Whenever you say anything to anyone the other person always knows exactly what your thinking is behind what you are saying.
That would make it nearly impossible to lie, cheat or deceive others, even for the smallest thing.
So that way when your girlfriend asks you if you would still love her if she were a worm, even though you would say, "Of course my love!" She would know you actually mean "what the fuck are you talking about?" And you would know she actually meant "my emotional batteries are running dry and I want you to recharge them"
Any time you try to get tape off a roll, it rips halfway through and turns into a mess. The same with toilet paper