this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 120 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I met a blind guy who wanted to experience a concert, so I took him to hear Coldplay. He said, "Now I wish I was also deaf."

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Go to enough concerts without hearing protection and he will get his wish.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I live about 10km from a big festival site. We could hear Metallica playing the other year.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I can see and I'd be pissed if that was the concert you took me to without forewarning.

[–] [email protected] 111 points 1 month ago (4 children)

You joke but music memory is literally the last thing to go. In fact, if you ever want to help the nurses care for your relative with dementia, make 2 playlists / mixtapes of their favorite songs. One Playlist of calming songs for them to sleep to and to listen to when they're upset, and one Playlist of exciting songs for when the physical therapist needs to get them up and active!

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

My gran grans favorite "get up and go" songs.

  • My Neck, My Back (Lick It)
  • Magic Stick
  • Put It In Your Mouth
  • Look Back At Me
  • Deepthroat
  • Pussy Monster
  • Anaconda
[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Pop pop did pass away. Heart attack in bed.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Is he the reason why 'when you nut but she still keeps sucking' meme exists?

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Again, you joke, but do you know how hard it is to control STDs in a building full of women with dead husbands who can't get pregnant?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean, if your husband is dead, it's kind of assumed that he can't get pregnant.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

You joke, but do you have any idea how hard I've tried?

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My wife still struggles with language and memory after her strokes from several years back, but every now and then she'll break into song with a perfect tune from even as far back as her childhood.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago

Please stop, that's beautiful. Best of luck to you and your wife ❤️🥺

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

"speak-singing" is a thing some people do to work around language issues, apparently it's an entirely different part of the brain.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I want to get a tatoo that says "Things to play if I have brain damage" or something, then put bands and genres that hit core memories.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Get a qr code to a Spotify playlist. This way you won't have to get laser removal when you want to change a song

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Better yet, get a qr code to your own domain that forwards to your spotify playlist so you can change the entire qr code to something else in the future should you want to

Edit: Hell, I might actually do this lol.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Better yet just encode the list of songs in the qr code. No need to depend on SaaS

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

So that's gonna be whirling-in-rags (evening) and Mute City (Kyaku remix), respectively, for me.

[–] [email protected] 67 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My spouse was admitted to hospital for two weeks and had several geriatric roommates. The nurse asked one of them if she knew where she was, and she yelled "IN SATAN'S ASSHOLE".

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (5 children)

That actually isn't even much of a stretch for Texas names. I live near the Devil's Backbone.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

So you live just north of Satan's asshole. Got it.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Nurse here: we ask 'orientation' questions as part of our assessment

I had a younger patient going through the straights with hallucinations (newly diagnosed schizophrenia)... and I had been asking the same questions (as we do) a lot

So I asked them once again, "Do you know why you're in the hospital?". Their response: "Deez nuts!"

I always appreciate a good "Deez nuts" joke, but that one has been my favorite so far. The volition on their face and the shitty smirk; they're completely tied down with a guard because they would occasionally be violent... but hot damn, that was a zinger.

I counted their response as oriented— they know what they did lol

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Huh didn't realize people hate Coldplay so much. Not for me, but I didn't think they were particularly bad.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I could be comatose, damn near brain dead, almost lifeless, and if Rhianna starts singing country I will jump out of the medical bed and throw myself out the nearest window to get away from it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not a country fan, or not a Rihanna country fan? I'm neither, really, but curious to hear from people with real opinions on the genre, etc

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I just really hate that song.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

I love Coldplay, but this is just funny

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

For a while they were like Maroon 5 level over exposed. I don't think I've heard a song from them in a while though.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

To be honest that level of overexposure doesn't happen if you totally suck. It was cool to hate on them for a while though. You know, just like it's cool to hate anything mainstream or basic, which is honestly a pretty basic way to view art in general. Like literally all it takes to participate is to notice that something is popular.

Edit: Although to be honest the way media companies love to milk songs to death is super annoying and makes you hate the music. You see it today with trending tiktok sounds. I'd blame this more than the quality of the music.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

For a short moment I thought she was referring to the life support.

Doesn't make the joke funnier per se, but a lot darker

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

turns off life support

"HAMMOND YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!"

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did you mean, "turn IT up"?

Also, if bands were colors, Coldplay would be beige.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Is that a kind of yellow?

Listen to the song, see how it sounds to.you, it's doggy do, and they were all BEIGE

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

My grandpa had a stroke and the various Mormon friends neighbors that never said a word to this coffee drinking sailor suddenly wanted to put church choir music on.

He likes Mozart and I will bury you in the backyard if you try

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I read this as if she was on life support.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think they misspoke. They probably meant to say Nickelback, not Coldplay.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Does anyone else hate Nickelback, Coldplay, Justin Bieber, Billie Eilish, and Maroon 5? Upvotes to the left

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

OMG I never dared to say this out loud, it‘s so controversial yet so true!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I'm just indifferent to Coldplay and can't even remember who Maroon 5 is. I've also never listened to Billie Eilish, but she has the worst case of resting bitch face I think I've ever seen in my life.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I hope he replied, “Don’t Look Back In Anger”

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Nana’s got Alzheimer’s, not Shazam

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Hahah dae Coldplay bad

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Years later and that album launch is still traumatizing folks XD

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