this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 104 points 1 month ago (7 children)

my favorite feature is that it's a smart device—you connect it with your phone via proprietary app and it tells you the temperature of your counter top. Also for a low monthly subscription fee it will also recite the screen play of a random episode of friends in 4 languages simultaneously, none of which are English, Spanish, Arabic, or Mandarin.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Man I really hope that app requires an active internet connection and a registered account. And it would be real nice if the app wasn't optimized at all and support would end after 3 updates.

[–] filcuk 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

'Bro, my steel cube is now just a useless brick'

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you dont pay the subsciption it immediately gets rusty

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Love the proprietary app! I spent several months cobbling together a bunch of Docker containers that each apply a bundle of hacks I built through reverse engineering! Now I can control it via Home Assistant but I hope some guy that built one of the Docker images doesn’t disappear in six months when the manufacturer completely wrecks all our work with an API update!

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I love the live location feature, so that I never lose track of my kitchen cube. You can see where it is and how it's doing even from remote. Always have an eye on my cube when at work.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Obviously the languages are Estonian, Finnish, Latvian and Lithuanian.

Except for the Finnish + Baltic region, where the languages are actually Tagalog, Swahili, Navajo and the most popular option, x86 assembly for outputting the text of the episode in Haitian Creole. The latter is the most popular because of how insanely fast they have to speak.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh, I know this one, Estonia is that country next to Italy, right?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Personally, I'm a fan of the rumble notification feature. Pair it with your phone and it'll rumble in response to a random notification on your phone at least once a day. Best part is: it kinda shakes the whole house and will sometimes shuffle itself into the floor so you can't ignore it! Yeah, I've had to replace some tile, but it's totally worth it.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Being able to report the temperature is way too useful for a useless steel block. I’d pay $10/month for a block that truly does nothing.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Apple industrial designers would totally buy it

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Elon would manufacture it.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And it would rust, fall apart, and explode.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (6 children)

And it'd require you to solve 20 captchas in order to use it.

Source: me, I tried to create a Twitter account.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Well, there’s your problem.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

So would my wife if they came in colors.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Assuming that the 80-pound (36.3 kg) stainless steel block is a solid cube, its side length would only be 16.6 cm (6.5 inches). (The density of the most common stainless steel (304) is 7930 kg/m^3.) Not nearly as big as the picture suggests. Still, it seems like it would be an awesome addition to my kitchen.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Considering the downward trend of quality in home appliances, it makes even more sense that it's not even solid metal.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

It's a polymer shell filled with sand and stainless steel cover on 5 sides.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

It's just not solid metal. These things are overpriced pieces of shit. I know because I used to have one. Anytime there's a "chip shortage" these things are always marked up to be 2x as expensive too.

I think in this day and age the best way to waste counter space is to use newspaper and dirty dishes like our great grandparents used to do.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Didn't say that it's solid

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Modern appliances just aren't as good. Check with Goodwill, or yard/estate sales. You can pick up a vintage kitchen cube that works just as well for pennies on the dollar, and it will outlast you.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I still have my great grandma's cast iron kitchen cube that she brought over from the old country.

I can't even describe what that thing can do with pork chops.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I prefer carbon steel cubes myself but cast iron is nice too.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Because you are not accounting for inflation. A modern kitchen cube made in the same quality as a vintage cube would cost one cubic meter of pennies.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I bought one of these when they first came out and they're a piece of shit. It stopped working just a little bit after the warranty expired.

[–] solsangraal 20 points 1 month ago (4 children)

this is fucking hilarious. it's exactly as functional as the gigantic kitchenaid mixer that my housemate INSISTS that it stay on the kitchen counter even though it hasn't been used in 5+ years. apparently for some people it's absolutely imperative that anyone who happens to come to the house MUST be made aware that we have a fucking kitchenaid mixer

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

I had an ex who insisted on this setup. Apparently Kitchenaid has somehow been able to convince people this is an decorative status symbol. As an appliance I've never seen one in action and I've seen many of them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

decorative status symbol

Of course it is. That's why it comes in so many color options. Including "limited edition" ones which I find equal parts hilarious and infuriating.

Anyway, Smeg probably holds the crown for that sort of thing currently. Check this out. Notice that they won't even show you the price at first. That's because it's got a UMRP of $2000.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Could be worse. You can get a cozy for these things which makes it even more pointless.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

No shit. My mom got a kitchen aid from my aunt and it has day unused under a hideous floral pattern dust cover because it was white and not pink like she wanted.

Next to the unused bread machine which is next to the George Foreman grill which is next to the panini press...

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

My 50 year old Kenwood mixer stays on the counter for one reason only and that's because it's too goddamn heavy to be lifting back and forth. Also I sometimes get inspired to bake just from seeing it on the counter, which is a nice plus.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

IKEA version takes up same amount o counterf space, but the core is made of cardboard, so lightweight!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Reminds me of the reployer from Prey. Every office has one of these machines but seemingly no one knows what they actually do - not even engineers.

[–] solsangraal 6 points 1 month ago

such a great underrated game. the true successor to system shock 2 that bioshock attempted

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

10/10 for functionality, it does exactly what it's supposed to, and it does it well.
Highly recommended.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Oh my god do they make it in that 60s sage color?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

They do but it's always sold out

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

moans in machinist

1551 stainless

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Will buy it if it's made of galvanized square steel

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is why too convenient. You can still place stuff on top of it

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"Capitalism breeds innovation". An economic system where "form" comes first than "function"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

The exact dimensions of an 80-pound stainless steel block would depend on its specific shape. However, we can estimate its size based on the density of stainless steel, which is around 490 lbs per cubic foot (lb/ft³). To find the volume of the block, we can divide its weight (80 lbs) by its density (490 lb/ft³):

Volume = Weight / Density. Volume = 80 lbs / 490 lb/ft³. Volume ≈ 0.16 cubic feet (ft³).

Since we don't have a specific shape for the block, let's assume it's a cube for simplicity. To calculate the side length of a cube with a volume of 0.16 ft³, we can take the cube root of the volume:

Side length = ³√Volume.
Side length = ³√0.16 ft³.
Side length ≈ 0.54 ft (or about 6.5 inches).

Therefore, an 80-pound stainless steel block shaped like a cube would have sides measuring around 6.5 inches each.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I just assumed it was hollow

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Well fuck you.

Edit: Sorry. That makes sense, I just was thinking about that tiny heavy cube you can buy that's like the densest cube of metal and I wanted to get the math done because it was ENTIRELY too big in the photo in my estimation, and why would it be hollow? To take up more space sure but it would dent and be so much harder to produce but I GUESS I get it. UGH

Didn't feel like doing the math for a hollow one myself so I asked bing to do it for me assuming it was about 10 inches in diameter (that's what I guessed from the photo because it looked to be approximately as wide as one burner(?) it'd be 72% hollow

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

/nottheonion

i really thought it was

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Ah, but have you considered buying three?

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