this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2024
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badposting

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I think πŸ€” if we have bidets, we need to complete it with ass air 🌬️ dryers. Like the ones with sensors that are in public restrooms and are for your hands βœ‹πŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌ.

We need a contingency plan for toilet 🚽 paper 🧻. I'm sick 🀒 and tired 😴 of running πŸƒπŸΌβ€β™‚οΈπŸ’¨ out of toilet paper in the bathroom.

What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments below.

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top 27 comments
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (2 children)

bidets are bourgeois, or so i've heard

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I officially challenge you to a duel. All the residual waste on your buttocks should reduce your dexterity by 20%.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

i clean the old fashioned way, a bath in a giant barrel after every movement

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Oh I see that you're a traditionalist

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

There are no excuses

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

I just have your mom blow it dry GOTTEM

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I got three seashells and haven't looked back.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

This guy wipes

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

I simply blow my ass dry with my mouth

[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (3 children)

The adults only men's locker room at the pool near me has hand dryers at a child's height, so all us old dudes use it to dry our balls. So I understand the spirit of your proposal.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Dudes will never beat the rockin' allegations and I hope they never do.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Downvote this mf even harder

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

This gives me an excellent idea: hand held bidets AND a hand held dryer for your ass!!!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

the capitalists will stop at nothing to replace human workers with machines

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (3 children)

How do you check that you're fully clean down there without tp. I'm not even joking. If you wanna wing it with pop on your butt, be my guest.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Have faith in the system

~~just blast your asshole with water until you're sure you're clean~~

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

started-blasting so anyway I started blasting

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

You just blast till no more shit comes out

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

outside the midwest they call it soda

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Downvote! Double downvote!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

The USPA smart bidet toilet seat sold at Costco has this feature built in.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

bidets are bourgeois decadence. wiping is also bourgeois decadence. the correct way to clean after shitting is to find a sandy dune, spread your cheeks, and sit down on it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I knew a guy who swore by wiping/scraping with pinecones when in the backcountry.