this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago (3 children)

We milk it for all it's worth, but this is nowhere as unusual or funny as a prime minister fucking a dead pig's head.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

also that one actually happened which makes it even funnier

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (2 children)

so the couch stuff is all just a bit based on that one couchfucking tweet about JD's book? amazing

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

well we cant definitively prove he never fucked a couch....

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

yeah i think so

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

most young men have an embarrassing masturbation story or two but usually we TAKE IT TO THE GRAVE

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

i won't. fingered myself with peppermint shampoo at my aunts house. she's dead now so i'm free to tell hexbear.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

hahahaha, if it makes you feel any better almost every young guy has pulled one off in the shower with soap. ever gotten soap in the pee-hole? like really in there? its a mild chemical burn.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Dr. Bronner's Hole-Burning Soap

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

got my penis WHISTLIN

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

David Cameron?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm going to Lathe into existence a republican party skit that's just a scene for scene reproduction of the Rick James bit.

Trump gets a blood clot from his ear injury because he ignores basic medical advice.

JD Vance doesn't want to swear, so he says "screw your couch"

He over uses the joke, but on Halloween he gets his wife to dress as two couch cushions and he takes the election in a landslide.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago

But I want whatever would be more painful for Hillary Clinton.