this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2024
163 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

as classy as that ring would be on my pinky, jewelry is a no go for me: too awkward and clumsy. I prefer to keep my boner pills in a false tooth I can bite down on like a captured assassin.

"Who are you? Who hired you?"
"Suck off one head and two more will take it's place. Hail Viagra!"
[bites tooth and laughs]

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago

as the Soviets take Berlin

In their head they were on the side of the Nazis and needing to take a suicide pill?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

this but filled with liquid ketamine

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago

Get out of torture free card

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I once had a poison ring. The clasp was weak, so it was always popping open at random points.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's good setup for a funny bit or a murder mystery twist. Chekhov's faulty poison ring clasp

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

So I'm fingering my partner, right? But my suicide ring has this faulty clasp, and for whatever reason I forgot to take it off before sexy time. Anyway, bada bing bada boom, I've got a life insurance claim.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

🎶Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, Viagra ring🎶

banana-duck banana-duck-peeled

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

~ding dong ding dong ding dong ding~

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

omg the kitty in your PFP is so cuteee 🥺 screm

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Falling asleep with the dog sleeping on the floor and waking up as its drilling a hole in my leg after having licked my hand trying to wake me up to let him outside...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Damn now I need some pill rings what the hell, been keeping my pills in bottles or bags like a loser with no swag