this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
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[–] [email protected] 175 points 1 year ago (10 children)

You're gifted enough to cruise through the first few stages of your education without trying, so you forge an identity as "the smart kid" but never build up skills in learning or studying, so when you finally get to a level where your natural intelligence can't carry you anymore you can't keep up with the people who did learn those skills and you start to fail and lose your identity as the smart kid which causes you to break down because that'd how you defined yourself for so long..... or so I've heard.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's the cost of designing education for the worst students.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

This is actually the reason. Because there is no such thing as "natural intelligence". Not more than there is "natural strength". There are natural predispositions, yes, but what you get is function of what training effort you put in. Whether you realise, and/or like, putting effort into training your intelligence, is is another thing. So people who are "above average" were in a favorable environment that fostered their development without it feeling forced, or unnatural. And then, when the environment was replaced by the school's, it sadly didn't foster personal development anymore. I would argue we would need to redesign education, now that we have internet. We don't have to design courses around physical limits.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Because there is no such thing as "natural intelligence".

Weell, some children have it easier to comprehend stuff on the logical/abstract level than others. Which feeds their curiousity. Which trains their intelligence...

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I feel like you watched me grow up. For a long time I was smart enough to pick things up naturally, I was even offered to skip grades.

Then the math got complicated and I didn't know how to learn it. I went from being the smart kid to being the stupid one in remedial math. Being smart was all I had at that point, so when I "lost" that, I lost everything in my eyes. I was stupid and I was never going to be anything because of it.

I ended up getting my GED as an adult and I now have a promising career in insurance- so I didn't really lose everything, but when I was 15 it sure felt like I had.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Excuse me, I resent being attacked at 5am on a Friday, tyvm.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Wow, that's exactly what I've... heard... too!

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[–] [email protected] 152 points 1 year ago (7 children)

I am good with knowing my deficiencies. What sucks is being told that they are my fault because I should be "smart enough to overcome them".

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Agreed 100%, being a specialist in something always has led to someone taking a pot shot at your deficiencies.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Or being a jack of all trades and getting potshots for not being an expert in everything just because you pick up the basics quickly.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's actually insane how many teachers and other education professionals waved me off with 'you're smart enough, just try harder' while I was obviously suicidally depressed and extremely dysfunctional. Having undiagnosed autism because I was a teenage girl in the '00s was fun.

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[–] [email protected] 94 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The guilt that "you could have done more with your life", despite being a successful engineer with a happy family.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

"Gurtaj is a principle software engineer at Google you know! You used to be the same grade in school. What happened?"

"Dad, I'm running a multimillion dollar startup right now"

"Tsk tsk"

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

"with all that million dollar you still can't be a doctor, did you know your nephew could play violins blindfolded while performing a surgery when he was still 3 years old. What a disappointment"

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[–] tigeruppercut 72 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There's that joke about wearing regular clothes on Halloween to go as the "gifted kid", and when people ask what you're supposed to be you sigh and say you were supposed to be a lot of things.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (4 children)

"I'm a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else."

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I'm in this picture and it makes me keenly aware of what I could accomplish if I didn't just coast by

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Go with what makes you happiest, most often more effort can lead to less rewards. Ultimately you have to find your comfort zone.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

We all think we are there, it's not a good mentality. No judgement, I am with you

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (10 children)

Let's be honest, most of us think we're in the blue zone, when we are probably in the red zone

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 year ago (3 children)

No, people in the red zone think they're in the green zone.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sometimes we wish that our impostors syndrome was true

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I had to do an official test along with a psychological examination for reasons when I was almost 18 years old, so I know at some point I was in the blue zone or above, but it doesn't really fucking matter when you have autism, a mood disorder and have been neglected by your parents so you never learned things like determination or frustration tolerance. I think I shaved a solid 10 IQ points off anyway from almost a decade of substance abuse issues, so now I'm just autistic and dysfunctional without the gifted part.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I still suffer from this. Promising early start, intense self-confidence issues and depression by the end.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The secret is we're all gifted and talented in our own ways. Our society is structured to benefit and work for a specific kind of gifted and talented. You got to an early start, and then when it was determined your talents weren't profitable, the problem was framed as you wasting them instead or the system failing you.

Not to mention our current identification of gifted and talented is basically just "So you know how that one kid has ADHD and his lack of structure in their home life results in poor grades? Well we put them in the remedial class. There we will teach them coping and organization skills. Meanwhile, this other kid? They also have ADHD but we don't realize it because their grades are fantastic. Turns out their home life is stressful in a specific way that means they get good grades, but they don't really know why or what structure is helping them. I school we will put them in the gifted and talented class. There, they'll be in an unstructured environment where they can learn and explore at their own pace and OH NO NOW THEY'RE ANXIOUS AND UPSET BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE THEY WERE THRIVING IN THE STRUCTURE OF A REGULAR CLASSROOM"

Our education system is not based on individual need and instead on assuming everyone is basically the same, just more or less advanced

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Doubt is a sign of intelligence. Which can sometimes lead to confidence issues. Just try to keep things in perspective and not let doubt keep you from taking calculated risks. It's when we allow ourselves to become paralyzed that things regress. A lot of it is environment as well so there's no simple answer but I can assure you thet you're not alone.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Fun fact: programs for gifted kids have historically been far more underfunded than programs for other exceptional students.

By the way, the euphemism of "exceptional children" pleases my autistic brain way more than any other word for Special Education students. It has all the compliment-sounding qualities of "Special Needs" but is even more literal than any previous euphemism. It literally means "kids that teachers need to make exceptions for"

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

"Gifted" programs royally screwed my education. I had huge gaps in my knowledge because they decided that being top percentile in reading/writing (and being the weird kid) meant I could just skip out on classes for special little weird classes or sit with higher grade classes. I just had ADHD btw and really liked to read. Anyway, I would LOVE to know wtf they thought they were doing moving a kid around that much in 3rd-5th. I suffered the hardest with math. I was missing bits and pieces, which is pretty gd important in math, and I'd still somehow get the answers right but talked to about my overly complicated or ✨creative✨ solutions lol. Even now I hide my work if I need to solve something because I'm probably doing it weird... Then later it was really fun finding out that I couldn't really live up to being "gifted". 0/10 being special made me less educated.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

"well if those kids are so smart surely they can do more with less right?"

-average conversation at an budgetary meeting for education, probably

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

This is funny, but even the most intelligent people are inflicted with this. Don't let it keep you down, we cannot be good at everything.

Its been consistently self-reported by Harvard students. And another effect is present, too - excellence leads to being placed in competitive environments, where everyone else is just as excellent. And this can make brilliant people feel stupid.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

Did you know that 80% of people think they're above average intelligence?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I think a good part of that is because 'average human' is not a good way to represent who we are individually. I'm probably above average at specific things but in many other respects I'm average or below or wherever I'm supposed to be. Maybe most people are above average even though on average most of us are average.

Fully above average people IMO are like astronauts and stuff. We all live in the shadow of that former navy seal/doctor/astronaut who is like 45 or some crazy shit.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago

There is no green region. It's blue all the way up.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ah, I see the stereotype of everyone thinking of themselves as "lazy genius" is something we've carried over from Reddit. We're all above average intelligent and could really achieve something if we just bothered to work hard and apply ourselves!

lol

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (8 children)

I wish my iq was 20 higher or lower, idk just gimme out of the blue zone

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The older I get the more I profoundly identify with Cypher. Ignorance truly is bliss.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (11 children)

Being gifted only refers to intelligence most of the time. But intelligence alone won't make a person excel at their field. You can be among the most intelligent people but still stay in the blue zone.

I think excellence comes to be when intelligence meets motivation, purpose, creativity, social skills or other factors.

And when it comes to the blue zone resilience would be a key factor. If one is intelligent of course you realize your faults quicker as well. However it takes resilience to keep going in the face of your own doubt.

That's why in the real world people who are very convinced of themselves and their own ideas will get far even if not gifted at all.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I like the term “twice exceptional”. All of my biggest strengths are aspects of myself that come with tradeoffs. For 20 years straight, I was praised for the strengths and scolded for the tradeoffs. Motherfucker, you can’t enjoy how quickly I learn things I’m interested in and also treat me like I’m lazy when you expect me to sustain equal amounts of interest in 10 different things that bore me and I fail. You can’t enjoy all the art and tech I make and then get annoyed when it’s difficult to break me out of a hyperfixation.

I firmly believe that the tortured artist stereotype is bullshit. There’s nothing about being an artist that requires you to be miserable. But we sure do treat people like shit when their brains work differently.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

The later half is so true, early on when you’re a statistical anomaly you can get special treatment, but once you become a small problem or the skill backfires they blow up as if it couldn’t have been seen coming. They expect 100% efficiency like you’re a battery to sap and don’t care how it affects you mentally.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (5 children)

The creator of this comic is a self-described pro-sweatshop neoliberal, which explains the "woe is me, I'm too smart for my own good" delusions.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Sure, because something so egregious would definitely show up in a Google search for "Zach Weinersmith sweatshop", right?

Unless...you're exaggerating on the Internet to stir up outrage?

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Fun fact about being in that green region: Don't! It's like being in the blue region, but green!

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't mind being aware of everything, but I do mind that nobody else is

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Getting mature early is a curse

Cuz you are left with a wee little tolerance for biased thoughts and advices

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Who wants to bet that most commenters will place themselves in the blue zone?

Thankfully I can look down on everyone as I’m firmly at the top of that curve.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Awareness of your own weaknesses is the first step to make them your strengths.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was in the "gifted and talented" program as a kid and all it meant was I got more homework lmao. Good thing I loved reading and actually enjoyed being assigned novel chapters

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I think I pretty quickly came to the conclusion that I was effectively being punished for understanding the normal material more easily than my classmates, and I didn't get why my "gifted and talented" work was necessary, since it was, to me, bonus material, and not even interesting bonus material.

A core memory of mine is after showing up one time without an assignment done, my teacher decided to go around the room asking what everyone wanted to be when they grew up. All my G&T classmates said standard kid answers like doctor, lawyer, firefighter, whatever. Not being a smartass, I gave the genuine answer that, because I really liked Taco Bell, and there was a taco bell in walking distance, I'd be happy to work there and get some free Taco Bell.

Teacher called my parents.

How the fuck was I supposed to know giving a real, and in hindsight significantly more attainable answer was unacceptable? We were in elementary school, so why the hell would I know at that point that basic food service is basically non-viable in America?

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