I forked an opensource project to add a couple features for my wife. π
Programmer Humor
Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)
Rules:
- Posts must be relevant to programming, programmers, or computer science.
- No NSFW content.
- Jokes must be in good taste. No hate speech, bigotry, etc.
And? Did she accept your, err, pull request? π
This is the kind of love I need in life π
So cute! And practical!
For half a second I read this as "to add a couple of features to my wife"
"Girl, I named no variables after you, because you're my only Constant"
You can also combine your names into a Linux distribution.
Deb + Ian = Debian.
I bet they've broken up since
The word "Debian" was formed as a portmanteau of the first name of his then-girlfriend (later ex-wife) Debra Lynn and his own first name
Once when I was still a kid, I told a woman I loved her so much that I could only love her more if she was a robot.
She did not think that was romantic.
there are so many things wrong with this
I think it's kinda sweet for a kid. I mean what's cooler than a robot when you're 7? that's pretty much the pinnicle of "cool" at that age, or at least it was for me. So to compare a crush to a robot for a kid is similar to shakespear comparing thier lover to "a summer's day" or Selena Gomez comparing thier lover to "a love song"
I was thinking about you when I cleaned up this codebase and removed a lot of redundant functions.
I send my wife code she has nfi idea about but knows I'm proud so she pretends to be impressed.
I win her heart over by making life much easier through technology and handling all that shit. When she can grab a PS4 controller, hit start, and sit on the couch, she knows not all ladies get their TV and sound system on, all inputs adjusted, game mode set, and Nintendo Switch home screen come up ready to launch Zelda.
"Babe, I could IFTTT the lights to drop to a gaming atmosphere and have your phone go into DND mode if you want. Just let me know."
SPLOOOOOOSH
This person misunderstands a beautiful function code can be very sexy or maybe I'm a odd girl.
I made a website for my wife with a list of a ton of reasons why I love her and each time she taps the screen it shows a new one.
So... that is a thing you can do for the cost of a domain name and some cheap hosting.
git branch testing.stephanie.slept.with.my.friend.brad
Image Transcription: Twitter Post
bass boosted ACAB @lil_morgy
hooking up with artists is hot cuz theyll be like "i thought of you when i wrote this song". what are tech guys gonna do? name a git branch after you? the fuck
[* I am a human volunteer and you could be too β€οΈ*]
βThe two hardest problems in programming are cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.β
The creator of MySQL, MaxDB and MariaDB named them after his children My, Max and Maria, so why not
No. They'll just name an entire lineup of the worlds biggest computers after your daughter.
Little baby Thinkpad really deserves it.
I wrote an automation specifically for my partner to unlock the front door when they arrive home.
Also we got a sexy time button.
Home Assistant is a path to what many would consider... Unnatural.
MySQL, MariaDB, and MaxScale are all named after Ulf "Monty" Widenius' kids
When I was learning programming I wrote a small program that I called for_you.exe. It printed an animated ASCII penis ejaculating on some boobs. I emailed it to my girlfriend and thankfully she thought it was hilarious. We're still together.
You can tell your age by the fact that you were emailing an exe file.
I mean Steve Jobs named the Lisa after the daughter he disowned. Thereβs opportunities here.
It can swing both ways. Half of Taylor Swiftβs songs donβt paint her exβs in a good light.
Iβd feel very wooed if my wife named a Linux distro or some open source project of hers after me
Keeping programming as far away from my relationships as possible.
Instead, I distract them with the fact that I'm a pretty damned good cook and know where the best hole in the wall restaurants are.
Naming variables after loved ones. Stephanie += 1 Stephanie/bob = Jeff
If Jeff == Stephanie: Jerome(Stevens)
Well, I made my girlfriend a GUI app that converts subtitles from Windows-1251 to utf-8 encoding so that she doesn't have to remember how to do it. And I didn't even name it after her...