chapotraphouse

Many don't know this, but the Communism button is actually locked away behind a giant metal door, rendering it inaccessible. The only way to open it?

Stalin's giant spoon.

You see, Stalin's giant spoon is actually the key to unlock the door leading to the Communism button, so China would have to retrieve it first in order to press it. However, the giant spoon was said to have been lost long ago somewhere in Ukraine.

And that's why the war in Ukraine is happening. It is actually a diversion, so that China can send searchers to secretly locate and unearth Stalin's giant spoon in order to open the door to the button.

I am very smart.