this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2024
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every time we go out to eat, I take like two bites and feel like throwing up, and I'm not one to get nauseous easily. this only started when we started dating (wed been best friends for 3 years or so up until that)

its not new food, I've been to these places many times before

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[–] [email protected] 98 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Sounds like anxiety. Mild nausea and loss of appetite are something that I deal with on a daily basis. If you are happy then it could just be nervous excitement, like having butterflies in your stomach.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, OP didn't say how long they'd been together but if it's a new relationship after 3 years of being friends, especially if they're young and/or there's been lingering feelings for some time before becoming "official", then anxiety and nervous excitement is likely to be high!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

spot on. wed liked eachother for two years, and were young too so

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 days ago (2 children)

If nothing else is triggering it then my advice would be to cherish the feeling while it lasts! Go on dates that don't involve food for a while or stick to lighter food that doesn't involve sitting in a restaurant to eat. Once things start to feel more normal between you then you can try formal meals again.

If she's suggesting restaurants in the meantime then just be honest with her, she'll likely find it sweet and endearing and it'll help to calm the nerves.

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[–] [email protected] 78 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Go to the same restaurants at the same time under the same conditions (i.e. how recently you ate another meal, day of the week, the weather, etc.) but with a different person and see if you still feel ill. Vary the conditions until you find one that correlates with your illness. Then try altering that condition.

If you feel ill under all conditions then see a doctor. In fact it might be good to make a doctor appointment anyway.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 days ago

yeah good idea honestly

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 days ago (1 children)

But babe, we have to go out tonight. It's for science!

[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"You're not my sidechick, you're my control condition!"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago

"I know you're sick of it, but I'm gonna need you to get the chicken Parm again. Trust the process!"

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 days ago

Isolating variables like this is so cool!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 days ago

unit testing eating?

[–] [email protected] 69 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Are you just really nervous about being on a date?

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 days ago (3 children)

I don't think so? but that could be a factor I suppose

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Your brain has a mind of its own!

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

It’s called an anxiety attack. Talk to a therapist about it.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 days ago (2 children)

too poor for therapy lol (I need it but womp womp)

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Then journal. Dump your thoughts onto paper, consider and reconsider. Just write out what you think. It can be a text file, a paper notebook with pen, whatever. Just write a lot.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago (5 children)

yeah that could help, I've just always been a "bottle it up and call it a day" kind of guy

dunno, my mental health has been improving now that I'm out of school honestly so well see

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago

I’ve heard great things about these self-help tools from the Australian Centre for Clinical Interventions: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Social-Anxiety

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago (8 children)

That does not sound like an anxiety attack.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 days ago

Nausea is a common symptom. Maybe you haven’t experienced it but it doesn’t mean it’s not a symptom for others.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Allergies maybe? Most women use special makeup for dates. It could be something she's wearing like lipstick. It could be something in the food like peanuts or olive oil.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 days ago (8 children)

Maybe she's poisoning you to get even for not asking her out earlier.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

Is this one of those "red flags" people keep talking about?

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 days ago (2 children)

It's because you're pregnant.

But on all seriousness, some say that there are cases when the would-be-father also feels nauseous with food when the girl gets pregnant.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Studio audience: OOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 days ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago

don't think that's a possibility currently

very interesting tho

[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 days ago

Anxiety?

If that tiny idiot of an amygdala in your brain thinks you're in danger then nausea can be a symptom.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

This happened to me as well. I'd take a few bites of a meal and feel full/ nauseous; Sometimes even throw up. It went away after maybe 6 months of dating and we joke about it now 12 years later.

We chalked it up to nerves, but no one can tell for sure. Best of luck OP! Guessing you really like this person.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (6 children)

I hope that's it and it goes away on. its own

yeah we've liked eachother for two years now, but I was too dense to realized she liked me back and she was too shy to say anything lol

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago

probably due to inflation and the price increase 🤷🏻

[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Maybe she's poisoning you just a tiny bit at a time. Kidding, but have you guys eaten a meal at home together without you feeling sick?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

not really, she came over once and we ate like polish crepes i made, and that was fine, but not much of a meal, no

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 days ago

Try cooking dinner at home together and see if it happens.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 days ago

Maybe there's something you need to get off your chest. Maybe you feel like you're not being true to yourself.

If you feel like something needs to change in your relationship, better to put it out there and work through it than keep it hidden.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Are you reacting to her perfume? Maybe she didn't put it on when you were just friends.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 days ago

no she definetly did, same one as always, and its not strong

also that would make me nauseous in the car as well, not just when eating

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Anxiety is a possibility, even if you aren’t actively feeling it. This is a good opportunity to seek help from a professional, even if it’s nothing related to that.

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