this post was submitted on 07 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 194 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I'm gullible as hell I showed this to my gf super excitedly

[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Chin up, now you know she really loves ya

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

She might have dumped them immediately, you don't know

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I actually shit his pants for him and then gave him a forceful blumpkin, he cried after.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well I asked ChatGPT if that is true. It's so cool that ChatGPT isn't allowed to tell me how stupid that question is

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Don't feel bad. I once showed my then-girlfriend news of a Firefly renewal on April 1st.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You can't take the sky from me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 105 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Isn't Halloween always on 31 October? How's this possible?

[–] [email protected] 202 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's why it's so scary 😱

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

The Halloween is inside the calendar!!!!!!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

Did you know that Christmas and Halloween are the same day? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I just had to explain this to my coworker...

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 month ago

You can't just move holidays. Who do you think you are, the President of Venezuela?

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This looks like an email my boomer dad would forward to everyone he knows.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Fwd: re: re: re: re: Operation Candyman O(s)bama

check your candy for fentanyl this year because Obama hates white kids!

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thank god that new year is not on friday 13th.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Not with that attitude it isn't.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Unfortunately this won't happen until October 31st 2600. Starting on March 1st in the year 2600, the Julian calendar (popular in centuries past, and still used in a few places) will differ by 18 days from the Gregorian calendar (the current worldwide standard calendar).

It happens that October 31st in the year 2600 lands on a Friday, and so the Julian October 13th, which lands on that same day, is also a Friday.

There may be a sooner Friday the 13th that lands on Halloween, if you know of other obscure calendars like the Hebrew, Islamic, or Chinese calendars. I don't know enough about those to check.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

I love it when people over analyze shitposts. Well done!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It's also always either 5, 6 or 11 years (or 7 in very rare cases, when you're on both sides of a skipped leap year like 1900 or 2100) between "day X falls on day of the week Y" events unless you're talking about February 29.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago

Me: a complete dumbass.

"I could swear it happened once when I was a kid"

"...Wait a second..."

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

I remember a friend of mine showing us this image many years ago all excited. To this day he's mocked for it

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

feels like this would go viral on Facebook.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

If you put that in the mirror it's kinda true, except that it's also on a Thursday this year haha

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Huh? When are you guys celebrating Halloween? The only Friday 13ths in 2024 are in September and December.

Also I thought the calendar cycles every 400 years. So if Fri 13th Oct 2024 exists, which it doesn't, then Fri 13th Oct 1624 and 2424 also, er, don't exist.

♫ In the year 2424, if trolls are still alive... ♫

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yes. Since Halloween is the last day of October, the 31st, it's kinda never on the 13th. So yeah, it's a shitpost.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Dang it I already forwarded this to my church group o well.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Sorry, I only believe in The Robot Devil from Futurama.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

My self esteam decreased drastically after realising

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Im more scared for Nov. 5th TBH.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Oh, you don't like bonfire night? Fireworks too loud? /s

Edit: Seriously, good luck to you guys - I'll be watching nervously from the UK (where our election was on 4th July.)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

It took your edit to realise they weren't talking about bonfire night.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

I can't believe it actually started to compute this in my head. C'mon coffee, get to work.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Fuck it. I wanna suck a dick before everything goes tit's up.

Like a clean and kinda cute one though. Non dick type of dick ya kmow

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

How bendy are you?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Even scarier when you realize Friday the 13th is on a Sunday.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)

This makes me feel like I did the first time I saw a full blood moon. Amused but ultimately disappointed that the world didn't end.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

You did it wrong pal, you're supposed to fish during the blood moon.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Why did this have to pass 666 up votes,

Could've been left at 666 updates and this post would be even better

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well if we’re going through another doomsday scenario then hopefully this one puts us out of our misery this time.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

When you believe in things that you don't understand then you suffer.

Superstition ain't the way

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

this is why I'm a computer denialist

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

They're just rock sprites trapped and tricked into doing math

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

I call it sand that's been tortured so much they started doing math.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

let my people go

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Why would computers need a dentist?

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