this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2024
485 points (98.8% liked)

Memes

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Give him the keys for his room...

[–] [email protected] 50 points 8 hours ago

If they can't figure it out, no one tell them.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 8 hours ago

There is no spoon.

[–] [email protected] 150 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

If you're pounding one out that won't really save you. He probably games with headphones and just doesn't want to get jump scares by mom.

I always had a desk and a bed and I made a point to never have my back towards the door when I was at my desk for the above reason.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

I used to almost exclusively listen to any kind of audio through headphones. I had a microphone near my desk configured so that it would pass through the vibration of footsteps directly to my headphones. I was rarely startled, no matter what sordid activity I was undertaking.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (3 children)

I swear the footsteps trigger a Pavlov response in me at this point. I can even tell who it is by the footsteps

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 minutes ago

Trauma, neurodivergence, or both detected!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Pavlov

As in you instantly lose an erection, because you've been conditioned to associate footfalls with a ruined orgasm?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 hours ago

I can only get off if I hear approaching footsteps

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 hours ago

I used to be able to do that, too! These days, I live with two people: an adult wife and a toddler. Their gaits are pretty easily distinguishable.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Wow was that hard to setup? Any special equipment needed?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 hours ago

Honestly, that was some 25-30 years ago. It was pretty simple to setup back then, but it might not be the same now, especially in Windows.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 hours ago

Same for me at work. But I use a mirror from Aliexpress.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 hours ago

"And when we hide porno, we go all out. It ain’t behind the refrigerator or under the bed. No, we become Batman when it’s time to hide some porno."

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 hours ago

Because it's dull, you twit! It'll hurt more!

[–] [email protected] 75 points 11 hours ago

It's for boosting Wi-Fi reception, don't worry about it.

[–] [email protected] 121 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

Fap with one eye ooooopen

Gripping your tube sock tiiight

Exit porn...

Enter mom....

Move your hand

And hope your boner doesn't stand

[–] [email protected] 61 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 62 points 12 hours ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Maybe he broke his arms.

Broken arms meme, we meet again!

Motherfucker!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago

That's one way to describe the guy, indeed.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 hours ago

Thanks, I hate it

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

All I think of is this now

1000008748

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago

Butthead's a Lefty?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I have no idea where that came from but alright... Here's your well deserved upvote.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (3 children)

They reworked the lyrics to Enter Sandman.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

The rework is titled: ‘Enter sockman’.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 hours ago

At least it was a sock and not a coconut.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 hours ago

I know, the melody somehow started playing in my head from the first line. I still don't know why they did it but I'm not complaining.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

My first thought was Last Resort.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago

Holy crap that works too well. Have my plastic fork!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Partially heeding the advice of Thufir Hawat

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

I would know by the sound of your footsteps mom

Aye. That he would

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago

The weirding way

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

Seems like new musky brand coming up