this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 hour ago

It's not a god per se, rather the animal companion of Ganesh (Elephant god/ god of people, kinda like god Fufluns of Populonia). The mouse is like a ride of the god.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

My money is on the elephant!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 hours ago

I dunno, that balls kick was a hell of a headstart and could change the outcome

[–] [email protected] 30 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

When they're both Christians, Jesus just picks his favorite. If you lose you know that you're not jesus's favorite. Sorry that's just the way it is. Loser.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Now I want to read a book that starts with the sentance:

"The war in heaven started with a spelling bee."

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

ChatGPT spat this out.

It all began with two children on Earth, both eyes squeezed shut, hands folded tightly in prayer. One was Lucy, a ten-year-old with a sharp tongue and an encyclopedic knowledge of words. The other was Max, a quiet but determined boy who practiced his spelling with such focus that every letter felt like a victory.

Each child prayed the same thing: Please, God, let me win the spelling bee.

And God heard. But not just God—Archangels Gabriel and Michael did, too.

“Lucy’s the one,” Gabriel said, convinced. “She’s got skill, and she practices every day. Max’s heart is good, but Lucy deserves the win.”

Michael shook his head, wings bristling. “Max has worked twice as hard. He might not have Lucy’s natural talent, but his devotion should be rewarded.”

God sighed. “Then perhaps both should win,” He suggested gently.

Gabriel and Michael looked horrified.

“There can only be one winner,” Gabriel insisted. “Lucy!”

“Max!” countered Michael.

The disagreement escalated, and soon the pearly gates rang with the clash of heaven’s most loyal warriors. Thunder crackled, stars tilted in their orbits, and halos slipped crookedly from heads. An entire chorus of angels divided into factions: Team Lucy versus Team Max.

As the battle waged on, God watched from His throne, bemused, until He decided enough was enough.

He raised one hand, and instantly the clouds of battle cleared, silence swept across the heavens, and every angel dropped their weapon, ashamed.

“Whoever wins,” God said, “will do so by their own merit. Do not wage war over spelling bees.”

And so, peace returned to Heaven, and on Earth, Lucy and Max faced off at the spelling bee.

In the end, neither won. They both missed a letter and went home with heads high but humbled. And in Heaven, a truce was called—but Gabriel and Michael couldn’t help but exchange a final glance.

“Next time,” Michael whispered, “I’m praying to win.”

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 hour ago

ChatGPT spat this out.

No one asked

[–] [email protected] 7 points 13 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Could you use that in a sentance?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 hours ago

They just did

[–] [email protected] 36 points 16 hours ago (4 children)

Sorry to all Christians but every Hindu deity wrecks Jesus 1v1. That's just facts.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago

But Jesus never fights alone 😏 he's a dirty ass cheater.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 15 hours ago

IDK, the christians build gods like a grade schooler:

My god built the ocean.

Oh yeah well mine built the earth, and the ocean is on the earth.

Hey you can’t do that, besides I have a second god and he made the sun.

I don’t need two gods mine is as powerful as all yours put together and he made the heavens and it has the sun in it.

THAT’S CHEATING! And I have another god, he made the stars!

Oh yeah well mine made everything including all the gods and he can count to infinity!

Oh yeah even the evil gods?

…..yeah but thats not his fault.

Is too!

Is not!

Is too!

Is not!

Is too!, Is too!, Is too!

Is not time infinitely!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

For his human form, yes, but Holy Trinity-wise, I'm not so sure. Beyond 1v1, archangels tip any scales in JC's favor.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Are you also including the entire Hindu pantheon? Because I don't think the trinity has a chance in hell, archangels notwithstanding.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 hours ago

The Holy Trinity includes God who is supposedly all powerful. I think He can hold His own 1v1. I'm not saying He would thrash every Hindu god, but it's not a trouncing of God situation, either. Regardless, when you start adding in the entire kingdom of Heaven, even against the entire pantheon of Hindu gods, I think Heaven wins out.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 hours ago

I never thought of it like Voltron.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

What about that one who sleeps for like 32 million years? Seems like he would be pretty easy to off.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

You'd think, but even with being vulnerable and asleep, all attacks thus far didn't wake it up it, much less kill it. Don't fuck with it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Now I just want to know what this deity is I should fear.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 minutes ago

I guess they are talking about Kumbhakarna?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago

Wow, looks like the Judeo-Christian god knows how to fight dirty.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

Interesting tidbit, the National spelling bee was created by Doug Cornette. The Father of loud mouth, racket waving, heel wrestling manager Jim Cornette

Which explains why he was such a word Smith and could talk a mile a minute while insulting the crowd

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

He looks like a thinner version of lives-in-a-van-down-by-the-river guy.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago

Just as loud

[–] AI_toothbrush 17 points 16 hours ago

I adore this comic for some reason

[–] [email protected] 75 points 21 hours ago (4 children)

why jesus cakes hanging out

Also my money on the four armed elephant dude with an axe

[–] [email protected] 36 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Dude forgot to gird. Rookie mistake.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 14 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (5 children)

Yes it looks like an iron axe, and God has a problem with Iron:
https://biblehub.com/judges/1-19.htm

Judges 1:19

The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had chariots fitted with iron.

So the idea that God is almighty is pretty ridiculous, according to the Bible that is.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (7 children)

If we consider the Sistine Chapel's depiction of the realm of heaven to be divine inspiration, the clothes were added later after some complaints.

The whole concept of original sin is such that pure beings such as Adam and Eve did not even realize that they were naked until they ate the fruit of carnal knowledge.

Therefor it is canon that God likes to hang out with his wang out. Freeballin.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

Since 2008 Ganesha only lost two times. I guess Jesus is past his prime. And the first loss wasn’t really a loss, since it was 8 first place winners with 7 kids of South Asian descent.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Scripps_National_Spelling_Bee_champions

[–] [email protected] 13 points 18 hours ago

I mean look at him! Jesus doesn't seem like he has much of a shot against that beast of a deity.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 19 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 37 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (2 children)

Also relevant, two people of the same religion praying for the same thing. The god fights themselves. Or flips a coin, free will remember.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 21 hours ago (6 children)

Jim Carrey comes to mind in Bruce Almighty, when he starts to say yes to every prayer and thousands win the lottery.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

This just made me think about Shin Megami Tensei. I think Messiah (the closest equivalent to Jesus) would probably win 1 on 1, but the whole Hindu pantheon would probably wear him down eventuality.

Edit for non-smt fans: SMT is Pokemon for religious and folk mythology. Lol

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