this post was submitted on 02 Nov 2024
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I am supportive of you being Canadian

top 44 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 108 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

"What's your gender?"

"Canadian."

"No, who do you like?"

"Donuts."

"No no, what's in your pants?"

"Polite manners."

[–] [email protected] 47 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

"No, no, I'm talking about your genitals."

"Oh, you mean Tim Horton's?"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Fun fact: timbits were named so in honour of his fatal drunk driving car accident.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"what's in your pants?"

"a party you're not invited to"

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

"a hockey knife"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

Doughnuts**

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

As a Canadian, I know you are American from your spelling of doughnuts.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Surprise, I'm both!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

We are sorry to hear you are disappointed with the Canadian gender identity. Please hold if you wish to express your concerns to one of our agents. Alternatively, courses on the benefits and challenges of being Canadian and what it means to be hockeysexual are available in English and French. Completion of the course grants access to free-but-slow healthcare and a $25 Tim Hortons gift card.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Please hold if you wish to express your disappointment to one of our agents.

I just want to say replacing fig leaves with maple leaves is rough because it leaves a bunch of sticky on your junk.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Maple syrup on your junk is a proud Canadian Thanksgiving tradition.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

I was sick and family was busy. So I missed thanksgiving this year.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

pour le service en français, appuyez sur le 2

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Why isn't the first option?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

Huge missed opportunity: could have been God made Adam and Eve, not Maple and Leaf

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

There is no such thing as 'Canadian', it's just a phase!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Pretty sure he did say Adam and Moose.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Hey, Adam; watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I think he said moose and squirrel!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Naah, Moose came later, he was the chap who came down from a mountain with a couple of iPads, then drove out of the desert in a Triumph, or something like that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The Book of Mormon is a wild ride.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

No spoilers please!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Wasn't she on YCDTOTV?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My pronouns are Canadian/Eh

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm guessing this is not a required demographic question in Canada.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

Might be a case where Canadian applicants submit another form that has the relevant information in a different format too.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

LGBTQIAC

Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Queer Intersex Asexual Canadian

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I called out a form and one of the options was for diet. The choices were:

Omnivore, Vegetarian, Vogon.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

those scintillating, jeweled, scuttling crabs are good though.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Just don’t allow them to recite poetry at you

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

One assumes it's either customary or law not to ask if it's not relevant.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I'm an American. I actually like America, for what it's worth. Canada, however, has the superior anthem.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Is this Windows95?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Our country reeks of trees / our Yaks are really large

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

And they smell like rotting beefcarcasses.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Probably just a cut and paste error, still funny.