Title reads like an onion headline.
this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2023
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I legit thought it was a joke too.
It reads like thick satire, I think it's a joke.
Edit: I think I misinterpreted you referring to Apple and not the article. Oh well lol.
I read it in the voice of Professor Farnsworth lol
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What happens if I use it on an Android phone? Will it burst into flames?
A chemical compound causes the cloth to turn blue when polishing an iPhone, green when polishing an Android. It's only a subtle difference.
Tim Apple shows up at your house with a baseball bat.
It’s ok though, he just wants to talk.
You might want to watch out your front window Larry, you'll see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass.
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This voids the cloths warranty.
Don't exaggerate! Just a lawsuit.
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Is it certified for clockwise wiping only, or is it bidirectional?
I think it is a subscription based model.
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I had to Google this because I didn't believe it was a real product.
Why on Earth would you buy one of these? You can literally wipe your phone screen with a microfibre cloth and you can buy a bunch of them for about £2.
Or do what everyone does and wipe back and forth real fast on your shirt
Fine print: use of non-Apple cleaning tools voids warranty.
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Phewww.. I thought I have to buy the iSwipe Pro Max 27 for $1,000 to clean my new iPhone
Apple assures us that this cloth, with its supple “nonabrasive material,” can “safely and effectively” clean any Apple display, even the high-tech nano-texture glass of the Pro Display XDR.
If the insinuation is that the Pro Display XDR has glass that needs special care, that sounds like a product that many would not consider a good choice for "pros".
All the reviews says that the incredibly expensive monitor has that micro texture on the glass that will impregnate with finger oils making it extremely hard to clean. So when a client touches your screen (because clients always need to physically touch your screen when they need to prove their point) it will leave a permanent mark on it. So "pro"
My old manager once drew on my screen with his pen when pointing out something.
He would also leave his coffee cups on my desk including a nasty ring.
I was so glad when he left, and am even more glad to work from home where people can't draw on my damn monitor.
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This article is really trying for an eye-rolling kind of tone while at the same time, literally just being an advertisement for new Apple products.
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Don't know why but polishing cloth strikes me as slightly dirty lol
Exit: would also accept "rubs me the wrong way"
This is why I like apple.
I just updated the firmware of my apple cloth and now it cleans 10% faster.
ahem... Don't you mean 10% slower?
There’s a negative impact overall since apple throttled swipe speed due to aging cloth nonabrasive material.
But I feel 13% happier so that would offset the negative impact.
Though soon it will be transitioning to a subscription based model.
Lower upfront cost, but they get you in the long run.
Knowing Apple, they must have thought about a way to make old polishing cloths specifically incompatible with their newer screens.
I'm surprised they didn't mention it during their totally not cringeworthy meeting with mother nature
But does it still support the first-gen iPhone?
Compatibility only goes back to the iPhone 5.
This is the thing about Apple and why this sort of thing doesn't bother me. Overall, their hardware, at least their phones and notebooks, are relatively similarly priced to the competition with similar hardware. Then they charge buckets for all the accessories. But if you pay for those accessories, that's on you. It's not an Apple Tax, it's a Stupid Tax.
It’s not an Apple Tax, it’s a Stupid Tax.
If you buy Apple products, you are already grandfathered into that Stupid Tax.
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Only their phones are similarly priced and that's only if you look at the most expensive android phones
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And of course sold at a vastly inflated price.
This felt like a The Onion headline, i love it
This is the best summary I could come up with:
It’s that time of year again — the time when millions around the world nail their eyeballs to the Apple Store website and wait, unblinking, to find out whether the new iPhones and Apple Watches are compatible with the $19 Polishing Cloth Apple launched in 2021.
After all, you bought the cloth as soon as Apple announced it, and you know all about planned obsolescence.
That brings the grand total to almost 120 supported devices, per my quick count.
Apple assures us that this cloth, with its supple “nonabrasive material,” can “safely and effectively” clean any Apple display, even the high-tech nano-texture glass of the Pro Display XDR.
Apple launched the cloth alongside its M1 Pro and Max chips and third-generation AirPods, and in the two years since, it’s no doubt cleaned countless Apple screens the world over.
To save you a trip to its product page, the Apple Polishing Cloth now supports:
The original article contains 230 words, the summary contains 153 words. Saved 33%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!
To save you a trip to its product page, the Apple Polishing Cloth now supports:
Supports what maaaaaan??
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