Comic Strips

There was another one similar to this that had a message for the cooks like “make him regret being born.”

I NOW CRAVE PAD THAI

This shit is like me. If I'm going to a Thai place I'm not a regular at, it's pretty much impossible for them to serve some white guy the hot stuff. Even actual "Southern Thai hot" isn't hot enough for my screwed up tastes to catch a real heat buzz, so normally what I get served seems heatless to me.

What usually gets the point home is telling the waitress its good tasting, but bland, and asking if I could have some birds eye pepper to put extra on it. For all the talk about how hot Thai food is, all they actually use are birds eye peppers (fresh, or dried and ground), which are around as hot as a Serrano pepper, or about half to a third as hot as a habanero. So for someone who can just eat a habanero, them going weak on the birds eye means I'm really not getting the kick I crave. Asking specifically for the hottest thing they put in their food (just me knowing what peppers they are) usually takes care of it.

This is dumb. Pad Thai is not a spicy dish in Thailand.

Ask for some som tam with that text.

Different people have different levels of heat resistance. My dad will abort mission, if you shake the pepper shaker more than once. Obviously, he doesn't have it in him to go back for seconds. I do, but having grown up in that household, it takes a while for the same heat resistance to build up. I bought sriracha for the first time a few months ago, and you could certainly still melt my face off with it, despite me using it again and again.

I’m not too ashamed to admit that siracha will make me feel pain. I do not find the pain from spicy enjoyable tho

Some people say that peperroni pizza is too hot for them.

Had the same thought. Kinda ruined effect for me

I'm convinced Sriracha is different in different places. Obviously, different brands have varied heat but the classic one available worldwide is definitely hot, it's not extreme but definitely hot. I wouldn't call myself a hot sauce person either but I do enjoy hot foods and condiments, I'd say about average on heat sensitivity. I know several people who just can't have Sriracha because it's too hot for them, and it's easy to make something too hot with a lot of it IMO.

Yeah this isn’t even gatekeeping spiciness. He might as well be using a ketchup bottle

Their might be ghost pepper Sriracha? But yeah, normal Sriracha is a sweet pepper sauce, not a hot sauce.

Since Huy Fong completely fucked over his pepper suppliers every batch is now wildly different so you never know how spicy a bottle is going to be!

Last time I was at a firehouse subs, I noticed they had a spicy sauce rack with everything labeled from 1 to 10 in spiciness. They only had ones going up to 8 at the time, so I tried adding a little bit of the 8 to my sandwich. Sriracha was like a 5 iirc.

I think it was a linear scale though because I didn't really notice anything from the little bit I put on my sandwich. Put more on the other half and even then, it didn't leave much heat.

Yet if I eat a slice of fresh cayenne when cooking, it will burn intensely for a good 5 minutes and I know that it's only around the middle of the spice scale, which is logarithmic.

I wish humans didn't have the ego issue that results in "some products are labeled very spicy when they aren't so that fragile egos can act like they can handle more spice than they really can". I'm kinda tired of needing to calibrate every single spicy thing trying to find some good heat without worrying about whether the extreme spice warning is accurate or just playing into that ego thing. I want enjoyable heat, not burn your face off.

Though I suppose part of it might be because I don't think a single person can accurately measure the amount of heat in a variety of sauces from mild to very hot. Your own tolerance plays an important role and everything less spicy than your ideal will seem barely spicy at all and everything more will seem very spicy.

I actually ended up using sriracha as a "cooling down"-agent for when I tested some absurd butt-blazing fire-fire-pants-on-fire hot sauce.

I'm a big chili fan and can handle some decent heat, this comes closest: https://www.flyinggoosebrand.com/product/sriracha-blackout/

But it kind of defeats the point if Sriracha, for me at least, which is slightly hot garlic ketchup-like red stuff :)

Maybe give the Austrian https://shop.firelandfoods.at/en a try if you’re ever in Europe.

No. It’s the only way men can experience pregnancy contractions. At least I have, once, when doing a spicy challenge. I did win it, but about 6 hours later I got some rumbly in my tumbly, then, another 3 hours later, all broke loose. The only feeling I had was pain. My stomach hurt, my intestines hurt, my butthole hurt. My body pressed itself free from this spicyness. Over an hour of contractions and pain. I was sweating, I was crying. Every time I thought it was finally over, another contraction. The heat started. It felt cold at times, before becoming hot again. And what did I do this for? Well, I got a shirt I got too fat to wear. And I got to say the best pickup line in my life: I only got this because you’re even hotter than that.

I'll let my daughter know.

Not that they need me to advertise for them, but my understanding is that there's quite a lot of flavor variety in the "Hot Ones" sauces. I do not enjoy spiciness, so I cannot comment on their quality beyond that.

The Kent Survival YouTube channel does also frequently reference the many tastes in their sauces, but again, I cannot personally comment on quality.

One of my old co-workers literally carries around an unlabeled bottle of white sauce that he claims is both flavorful and spicy. Our other erstwhile co-workers disagree and say that the spiciness overwhelms everything else, but he swears by it. I can see if he'll disclose what it is.

Regardless of whether you pursue any of my suggestions, I hope you find the balance you seek!

I've seen original Huy Fong Sriracha on the shelves again recently, you should see if you can find it.