Maddie's laugh was laced with sarcasm, “Mark, looks like you’ve got a friend.”
This seems like a classic example of overexplaining. The dialog is already clearly sarcastic; why not:
Maddie laughed. "Mark, looks like you've got a friend!" she said.
this post was submitted on 21 Dec 2024
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I'm of the objectively incorrect but subjectively extremely correct opinion that as long as the reader understands your intention, it's fine, and that no story is going to be made or broken by fretting about a comma or a period or a semicolon between a description of upcoming dialogue and the dialogue itself. This probably isn't helpful though.
I have a pet peeve about commas separating two complete clauses with no conjunction generally, and it bothers me every time I see it (unless it's two complete clauses in one line of dialogue, because people do talk like that, with short pauses). Such situations are often better with a semicolon or a period instead. But I have no idea if that is a common opinion. Above all, I don't want to steamroll over the writer's unique voice.
Not just "subjectively extremely correct", the reader understanding your intention is the literal definition of communication.
The problem as a writer, though, is that you don't know if the "as long as" is going to hold. Punctuation as a set of rules that must be followed is certainly unhelpful nonsense, but punctuation as a tool to help point those who might be misdirected without it is worth some consideration.
As long as they create self-contained sentences, periods/full stops are always a safe option, so you shouldn't need to worry about using them in either of these instances.
Arguably the first comma example should be replaced. As it is, it's splicing two unconnected ideas. A semicolon may seem 'speedier' but I would (personally) avoid even that here since the two parts don't seem (to me, absent context) to be sufficiently tied together to validate that choice. In any case, if this is text for children, the punctuation should be simple, i.e., use a period. If the text is for adults, they shouldn't be assumed to be two-mississippi-ing after periods and, consequently, periods should not be seen as slowing them down. So... just use a period.
In the second example, if not a safe period, a colon is perfectly fine: the dialogue is directly related to the preceding text. A copy edit along the lines of:—
Lacing it with sarcasm, Maddie laughed, "Mark, looks like you’ve got a friend."
would justify the comma according to the style I've acquired, but that's a much bigger change for the sake of a comma.
It all comes down to taste though, so take my comments with a pinch of salt.
Isn't the normal construction with a comma to have a verb in the first phrase that has the subject actively speaking, and then the quoted texted separated by a comma from that phrase?
Eg:
From the kitchen, Maddie said, "who likes their tofu burned?"
On this writer's way of writing, that would be:
Maddie was in the kitchen, "who likes their tofu burned?"
That is, the author is missing that linking verb. Can you add those in, or are those part of the author's unique voice?
The story is so dialogue-heavy that I'd like to avoid adding more linking verbs. I'd rather just separate it as-is with some punctuation. My question was whether it's normal to use a comma there to avoid a more pronounced stop to the flow of reading, but honestly, I think that a period won't be that different in terms of how the story is delivered.
Based on common prescriptions of grammar: it's best to use periods.
Based on what I'd write if I were in the author's shoes: I'd either rephrase the lines or use period-dashes.
Based on how I'd feel reading these lines in a novel: the commas are fine.
As an avid reader, the commas look correct. I have no other qualifications.