Ask Lemmy

My neighbor tries to break in regularly. Last spring, he was doing it successfully, and it took me a couple of weeks to notice.

I live in Texas. I warned him not to do it again when I caught him. If I catch him again, we'll see what happens.

My family's home was robbed multiple times when I was a kid. It was not a good feeling. I lost bikes, my first computer, and my general sense of security. There was a drug den around the corner, and homes all over the neighborhood were getting hit by people who were living there.

It was probably one of the factors that led to my lifelong lack of interest in trying recreational drugs.

My car has been broken into twice now over the last couple years, I've lived in different places but have a pretty nice car so I imagine it might attract some folks. I basically don't keep anything in my car so there was nothing to find, but it's always really upsetting to know. Especially the second time, when the contents of the glovebox were strewn everywhere. I kept only bare minimum paperwork, and a bunch of spare napkins and straws in there.

I was partying at a friend's house, that night I slept in the back of my van. I must have forgotten to lock up when I got in, because I woke up to the sound of the front door- closing. I slammed straight from deep, morning after sleep to a massive adrenaline surge of fight-or-flight. I distinctly remember coming up with more than one plan almost instantly- There was a curtain between the front and back, so I couldn't see the intruder, and they couldn't see me. I didn't know if they had heard me wake up, so my first plan was to get the jump on them by bursting out of the curtain throwing fists. The second was to stay quiet, wait until they turned the engine on, then use that distraction to sneak up and choke hold them against the headrest. The third plan was to immediately scream like fuck and hope they bailed. In that half a breath of time, I had a bunch of plans made. But I distinctly remember being totally frozen and unable to move at all, like a stiff, useless dishrag. I eventually realised that there was no-one in the car, and stuck my head through the curtain. In the dawn's light I could see some random drunkard staggering down the road, leaning against cars for support. He must have noticed mine was unlocked, and his drunken curiosity led him to open the door. Thankfully, he must have had a moment of clarity and just walked away instead of trying to drive off using the keys that stupid past me just left sitting in the front seat. I'm also super grateful to his moment of sobriety for the decision to not take my wallet, which was also just laid out for anyone to grab.

So yeah, minor compared to other real violations, but it certainly had an effect on me.

Someone broke into my house through a window and stole nothing, left through the front door... I still wonder what happened there.

My house was broken into last Christmas, just about a year ago exactly. I understand what you mean, it feels like a violation of your space in the most personal way, even when you weren't there to witness the deed. It sucks. All we can do is pick up the pieces though- give the car interior a good clean, maybe a long with some of the things rummaged through. Also think about what you can do to prevent the situation going forward- not to victim blame at all, but there are usually concrete things that one can do to protect against stuff like that. For example, making extra sure to lock all doors/windows and leaving the car in a well-lit area.

I'm sorry that happened to y'all, but take comfort in the fact that you are not alone in your experience.

I had my car searched at school after the drug dogs hit on the Claritin D in my front seat. I was more pissed than anything (partly because they picked flakes of "weed" out of my floorboards with tweezers and sent me to alternative school for 19 weeks).

Had a landlord that I discovered had been in my apartment without letting me know. Luckily, tenants have quite good legal protections where I'm from. Among other things, we can have the lock changed by a locksmith and bill the landlord for it if they've done just that. So I sent them an email with the contact info for a local locksmith, along with the legal text saying I could do just that, and let them know they had burned through any goodwill with their first infraction (which I documented). They apologised and didn't do it again.

When I moved out at 18 I was sitting on my parents front porch waiting for my ride and my mom came out and started rooting through all my stuff. Destroyed the dried flowers my boyfriend gave me for prom, took anything she decided I wasn’t allowed to have because she paid for, broke a few other sentimental things while screaming. I just sat back and let her. Didn’t say a word. I had an eerie calm about me because I was leaving and she wouldn’t have any power over me anymore.

we had a burglary once. the guy came in the back door while my wife was showering. took her bag, my laptop and a few other things and went back outside. tried to take the car but the key he had semi-miraculously had a damaged chip in it cause it went through the dryer so it wouldnt start. he pushed it down the street trying to start it and couldnt. when we found it the drivers seat and passenger seat were covered with what seemed like dog hair. the cops had to come take it to search it for fingerprints or whatever. we found my wife's bag down the street having been thrown into the stream. she still has the bag, vacuumed the car out and wiped it down, all good.

another time, i was living in this shared house that had a very serious reputation for having tons of parties with all kinds of drug use. several people were selling out of there (i didnt know at the time). I came home one day to find all of my drawers dumped onto the ground, mattress flipped over etc etc. The cops had come in with their dogs and flipped the whole house. cops standing on my bed in their filthy boots. broken ceramic mugs. i had nothing to do with it and they didnt find anything in my room.

the cop thing was just weird. but, after the burglary, i was paranoid for a good long while, months and months. it goes away after a time. we beefed up security significantly.

the tainted thing youre talking about though, this is psychological of course. theres nothing wrong with the car. people go through shit at airport security and things, it doesnt taint anything. this is a violation of your privacy, sure, but not your personhood. autonomy and personal space is just a concept. deer and cows and foxes and wolves and swarms of insects and people have been in the space that your house currently occupies. its just a spot on the planet some temporary walls have been put up to keep you dry. your house wont be there forever, thats a fact. later, someone something else will live where you house was. their space wasnt tainted by your presence.

just food for thought. if you have a therapist Id suggest mentioning it to them, it can help to talk about it. it almost feels like this about something else that this is a metaphor for, but you'd know if that feels true or not.

anyway, it'll pass. it happens to everyone.

I just moved out of Los Angeles. LA is crazy.

My first car in college got broken into, they stole my Sub in the trunk and my CDs, but they couldn’t get the radio out and broke the faceplate.

I felt so f-ing violated. It was my first car, my home away from home, my freedom to go places. I was traumatized like ptsd. That lasted a long time.

6 months later the entire car was gone, they stole it. Police took 2-3 days to find it. There was no tires, no engine, no muffler, and the interior was trashed.

I was destroyed for a long time after that. Fuck thieves!!!!!!

I threw a Xmas party at my house with friends, and one “friend” had a new girlfriend and they went into the bathroom and stole a ton of my moms makeup, jewerly, and other stuff.

Then maybe a month later that same guy poured white paint on my car windows. What a nice friend I had.

I had another friend move out of state, and he left me to take care of his dog for a few months… turns out he stole $1000 worth of stuff from my house, canceled my phone plan and never came back for his dog.

My wife was almost kidnapped as a kid, it freaked her out and when she was home she had her parents check all the cabinets for the kidnapper.

Years later someone broke into her attic, which the stairs led into her bedroom. That one also really freaked her out. She knew who the guy was too. I saw him once and he gave me a nasty look and I took his picture lol

So glad to be out of LA now.

Housemates left a door open; we lived in the woods.

A squirrel got into the house. Housemates, because young men are idiots, chased the squirrel further into the house… right into my bedroom.

They then tossed literally all of my possessions around the room in an attempt to remove or kill the squirrel.

Friends, they were not successful. The squirrel escaped the room and ran further into the house.

My parents felt the need to occasionally sack my room for drugs, and of course, me not having any drugs around my room usually meant they didn't find any drugs.

They never thought to look in the PlayStation 2 expansion bay.

Fucking twice have I had basically all my belongings tossed out by someone else.

When I was 19, I went to work on a cruise ship for 5 months. When I came back, my parents had sold or trashed literally everything I owned except for my bed, my desk and chair, and my computer. All my books, all my toys, collectibles, games and consoles, all the posters on my wall... Gone.

I got married at 32 and my wife did the same fucking thing (not through divorce, either).

I've had things stolen from me from time to time by strangers; none of them hurt as much as having literally everything you own taken by your own family.

A roommate’s girlfriend rummaged through my drawers and took some small bills and change from my dresser. My roommate sided with her, saying it wasn’t a big deal.

Our friendship soured, I got a new lock for my room that only I had a key to, and I set up a security camera on my desk. She never did do it again after being caught, but it made the rest of the time I lived there not particularly pleasant. I always felt slightly on edge, keeping an eye to make sure nothing had been moved or taken.

When the cops were on silent strike in Seattle, our car got broken into a lot. You get used to it. The first time was weird, but then I just started not being attached to anything I have in the car. I definitely got rid of extra straws and stuff afterwards though. I also had a water bottle that they didn't take and I sanitized the shit out of it. I doubt they slept in it, the risk would be pretty high.

About a year ago some tried to break into my flat at 2am. I was alone that night. They didn't get in because I put the chain in front of the door. The following nights I always locked the door, left the key in the lock and turned to the rightmost position, put the chain on, and moved a shelf in front of it. And whenever my roomies are gone for a couple of days, I'll lock the door. So yeah. You are not alone in this. Your feeling of safety has been challenged and that "tainted" feeling will linger for a while. I guess it's our survival instinct trying to warn us that we may not be safe. But it will get better with time.

My mum felt entitled to go through any and all of my things the entire time I lived with her. Never had privacy until after I moved out. I'm pretty fucked up, mental health wise.

When I was in middle school thieves broke into our house and robbed us. They got some of my dad's guns and some of my mom's jewelry. The jewelry hit her hard because it included things her father has given her.

When I was in college I had an amcient, yellow VW rabbit that got broken into a few times. The vent windows had hardware that was just glued to the glass, so you could just wedge something in and pop the glass out. Each time they'd rummage through it looking for valuables. It had to be someone who was a complete moron because I don't know how else they could imagine someone driving a $50 VW had anything of value.

Eventually we replaced the vent windows with windows from a newer model that had the hardware bolted on and it stopped happening.

Someone also stole the antenna off it when it was parked once. I hope that bastard died slowly of malignant ass cancer that just ate him from the bottom up. The closest thing to nice about that car was being able to listen to the radio, and that son of a bitch took that way from me.

Closest I've ever had is probably my dad searching my room for candy when I was younger or may be a year or so ago I went to see summer fireworks and came home to find out he went into my room and went into my electronic junk/storage dresser drawer and snagged some cookies I planned on eating when I got back later that night. I'm not super pissed about it since they were for my mom, but I'm not happy about it either, even to this day.

As for the other incidents of candy snagging when I was younger, I can't remember anything specific so I don't feel anything about them.

It's normal. A biological instinct caused by the "scent" of an intruder invading the safety of one's "nest". Most animals have been seen showing some kind of reaction, we aren't that different.

About two weeks after I moved out of my parents' place, my apartment was broken into while I was at work.

I had a pretty bitchin' video game collection and a basement apartment. They broke in through a window and cleaned me out.

Kind of a funny story, I had worked a double shift and was pretty exhausted when I came home. Went straight to the kitchen to make some mac n' cheese. Came back out to the living room to watch TV with dinner and there was no TV. That was my first clue something was amiss.

I couldn't stay in that apartment, ended up moving elsewhere before my first month's rent was up. I felt a bit better when I was in a different apartment, but I guess that feeling of my nest being violated stuck around a bit longer. I kept a bat by the door for a long time, and I still end up triple checking the locks because of something that happened like fifteen years ago.

My old family home got burgled back in high school. Some things of value were stolen, though luckily nothing sentimental.

What was worth more than the stolen money was that I no longer felt safe in my own home. I couldn't sleep well for a long time after that. I felt like I was sleeping out in the open. Sometimes I would hear a noise and jolt up and spend a whole hour trying to see if I could spot something weird on the camera feed (we installed CCTV).

Hell yes. I'm a person who always valued my own privacy, but I didn't have much, especially during university plus almost ten years afterwards.

I lived with my brother in his tiny apartment, and my mom was most of the time living there too. My mom is a very nosy person, and it happened sometimes that I got home to seeing my personal belongings being re-arranged, some missing.

Sometimes she would just open my cabinet right in front of me and search for something in there like it's second nature, without even asking.

It was extremely infuriating and humiliating to me. And I feel so lucky and so peaceful now that I have my own apartment.

House was broken into while I was at work. They’d gone through the house and messed it up a bit. But when I got to the bedroom, they’d flipped the mattress and taken the pillow cases off. Couldn’t sleep in that bed for maybe six months. Slept on the couch. Even had my bow next to me too for a while.

Cop who showed up told me to get a sawed off shotgun and/or a big dog. Ended up moving 8 months later bc I never felt safe again.

Sorry about the car. That happened to me too, long time ago. We were walking out from work at night on Black Friday and saw them in my car. I caught and tackled one of them and beat the shit out of him. Other 2 the cops got.

The first time we stayed with the in-laws she repacked my luggage for me. We barely knew each other. Wasn't that nice of her? /s

Yes. I didn't like it.

two breakins to my vehicle.

first time I was the idiot and left my window down and someone stole my 100 CD binder full of CDs. jokes on them, I had them all ripped to my PC anyway.

second time, someone broke into my toolbox and stole $2000 worth of tools in 5 minutes without me knowing until the next day.

I knew exactly where it happened because I had never been to that place and got lost. got a couple friends together and went back the next night, and sure enough I noticed a sketchy van with a dude in it.

I was the bait in my truck again and stopped, walked away and two dudes got out of the van and walked to my truck.

they didn't know two of my friends were laying in the bed with wrecking bars.

I heard shouts before I got inside the store and came running back. When I got there one dude was on the ground blood pouring out his leg and his foot is kinked unusually.

the other dude was begging for us to let him go. I grabbed a framing hammer out of the cab and broke his wrist.

we then proceeded to absolutely fuck the entire van up. wasn't even drivable anymore. flat tires, no lights, no windows, back doors bent and hanging.

I went back to the guys and told them to give me their cash. They gave me $50. I asked if this is all they got from my $2k in tools they stole the other day. they just sat there.

So I walked over, poured lighter fluid in their seats and set the van on fire.

when we left I threatened them if I ever saw them I would finish it.

drove home, got some beers and drank with the guys for the night.

do not fuck with a carpenters tools. it's how they make their living. I was in a bad spot at the time, and most of those tools I had inherited from my father. they were more than tools to me.

no tools, no work, no work makes Jack a very bad boy. fuck thieves. I still don't feel bad.