Let me tell you about my American dream. Imagine if you will, every shit you take is a one whiper. Horrid diarrhea, one whiper, constipated shit tail that barely drops, one whiper, even your average everyday shit, a one whiper! Now imagine a welcome to your porcelain throne, a lid raising to greet you, a relaxing night nightlight, a preheated seat and even a pre-cleaning spray to ensure your shit doesn't stick to the bowl... No more imagining, this is no longer a dream, this is in fact a top of the line Toto bidet brought to you by our friends from Japan. It's time to invest, you deserve to have your hole automatically cleaned by a gentle heated oscillating spray and then dried with a nice warm blow. Leaving only one whipe for you to finish the drying process and to see for yourself, the magesty of a clean post whipe 3 sheets of toilet paper.

Ass hair is just an invention of Big Paper to force you to buy more toilet paper

If you have that much ass hair, does using a bidet technically count as doing laundry? 🤔

That title 🤌

I hear it helps mute farts tough, so think twice before shaving.

Saving for later so I can change "puberty" to "testosterone" and re post in the trans meme communities.

more of a shitpost than a meme

The heading made me laugh so hard

You mean free floss?

LPT: Thongs are the cure for swamp-ass. If you can, get some wool ones.

...like peanut butter in the carpet

Buy a bidet that's $200 or more. Especially if you're a functioning alcoholic. It'll change your drinking shits game.

Be sure to shampoo and condition it properly. No one likes a messy ass of hair.

I was plenty awkward, but ass hair? At 12?

Keeps your ass warm when streaking after having a few to many drinks!

Ass hair is fine but nose hair!!!!

flushable wet wipes is a new, life-changing discovery to me