Melbourne

here's some winter orchids

Tomorrow I return to the office after 3.5yrs, if I die in the night I shall take it as Gods mercy.

Also, shout out to the utter brilliance that is my upper management thinking dragging us in for full rotations without toeing us in first isn't going to have a single mental affect on anyone.

The personal stories where people open up to me at work are amazing. (And the level of trust they put in me when they share it)

Had a man in his 60s talking about how he's working on his mental health for the first time in his life after his divorce and death of a parent.

It's still really raw for him and he still trusted me with his story. I love that I can work in this blue collar environment and have interactions like this.

alright wtf wtaf

this sTUPId company emailed me this morning, said they're sorry about not getting back to me last week, they had some structural changes and put hiring on hold, but they'll get back to me this arvo with an outcome. Sounded promising, I wrote back 'thanks looking forward to it' blah blah blah

BRUH! BRUH BRUH

they did not get back to me
they did not get back to me
they did not get back to me

sTOP faRKIN with me argghhhhhhh

I'm so done I'm burnt

/VENT^iamokayjustneedtoscreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeam^--

Much needed dose of serotonin thanks to the doggo this morning

doggo looking regal in the morning sun

___

I was a bit lucky this morning! I couldn't get to sleep until I think about 4:30am. I have a 'work from the office' 7:30am Tuesday alarm (earlier than my every other day work remotely 8:45am alarm) which I was dreading so I could head in today and present my months in the making document to the team. Woke up without the aid of an alarm which didn't bode well.. 8:40am. Seems I disabled my Tuesday alarm last week because I wasn't going in but forgot to turn it back on.

The lucky part is my phone also had a Teams message on it from the boss saying he's unwell and won't be in today, so I don't need to go in anyway! Now I'm going to require all of the world's coffee.

holy shit - visitors arrived at my neighbours next door, and I swear to fUCKING Alanis if they start singing Katy Perry again, I’m going to TP their welcome mat.

edit: EVERY MONDAY WTF

edit edit: this was my rant posted in yesterdays dt, but they just arrived so here it is too, electric boogaloo

The economy is fucked. The environment is fucked. Everything is fucked. But my attitude towards it these days is pretty much is "meh". At some point you just become very uninterested in hearing the same bad news over and over.

Either my upstairs or downstairs neighbour is working from home today and has their Outlook notifications on loud. And I have a goddamn Pavlovian anxiety reaction every time the "new email" sound comes through. Even though I've turned mine off for years so I know it's not an email for me. This is very exhausting.

Got my nails did. I feel pretty, reader. (I already felt witty and gay.)

I've been feeling flat this morning, both physically and mentally. Ended up queuing a bunch of songs together that elicit a strong emotional response and had a good cry. Maybe that's all I needed. I'm thankful to be working from home today, and with the Mrs out for the morning too... gives me a bit of space :)

Things for my move are all set in stone now. Neither I or the org I'm moving to are allowed to back out now. Since CP have set a date, I WILL move whether I'm happy about it or not. They really have found a way to suck all of the excitement out of it, I was pretty neutral on it until I'm told I no longer have a choice and in 12 days I'll be moving somewhere I've never even seen yet

I got given the news that I am receiving a pay rise and I am absolutely stoked, it made me feel exponentially more valued.

Why do some delivery people place your heavy delivery right in front of your door so you can't open your door?

Is it just me or are a car headlights a lot brighter these days. It can't just b improperly installed aftermarket junk because about half the cars blind me.

Having super intense anxiety dreams at the moment. This morning it was waking up and being unable to walk properly, staggering into the bathroom to see that my eyes were bulging and my irises were fully blown, and thinking that my husband hadn't called an ambulance.

Literally the first thing I did when I actually got up was check my eyes in the mirror. Totally fine. Wish these dreams would stop.

Just making some flat bread to have with curry, I added dried coriander to the mix, hope it tastes ok🤞🏻

time to play "are things actually hectic" or "is my brain just trying to make things this way?". I get the sense life is only as hard as you make it, trouble with my anxiety is it LIKES things hard. twists things into problems, forces me to take positions on things. I grew up where everything is a fight, so it tries to make everything a fight. And every now and then I need to stop breath and try untwist the knot my brain has tied itself into,

Day 17 of exercise program and day 2 of ten day tummy exercise challenge completed. Pizza base day at work. I'm craving sushi for some reason. It's an itch I don't mind scratching! Got Mr Peeler to watch tummy exercise video last night. Hopefully it inspires him. He is overweight and has back trouble and heart trouble, so he needs to start some manageable exercise program so he doesn't get put off. He seems to only want to sit around and smoke weed about it, which imo isn't helping at all. I tell him, too much of a good thing man! Weed is not a performance enhancing drug, and it's definitely not a motivational aid in my experience. I gave up years ago. Weed is part of his identity though, I don't think he'd know what to do with himself. (Sighs) Have a wonderful day everyone! Get some of that sunshine if you can!

If you feel another earthquake, don't worry, it was just the ripple of the biggest burp I've ever done. You're welcome!

After a 12hr sleep finally shook the end of that cold / virus that I caught from OS.

5 weeks of severe tum tum + cold / virus cost me 6kgs and I've developed a deep disliking of food :( Even just looking at it.

Came home from work and Mr Peeler's cooked dinner! Yay! My God, that doesn't happen often, and I was very very appreciative. The Mini Peelers had a sports day and the elder Mini came first in the 200 metres! That never happened before! The junior Mini got 2 second place ribbons! That never happened before! I'm in shock and need a lie down! Proud of everyone today!

I'm going to make a sate to go with my stir fry using stuff I already have at home. I know it won't be the same as the delectable dream inducing I don't know what drugs they put in it from my local Vietnamese shop but all I'm hoping for is it to be edible. I'm very excited.

I have made the sate. Tastes nothing like the one in the shop but that's ok because it tastes good anyway.

I was going through some old photos and found some of RustyDog from many years ago. He looks so young! They must have been taken not long after I first got him, he still has a bit of puppy in him.

Damn. Kinda regret not getting those After Eight dinner mints but I'm sure if I did get them I'd regret it too.

So my cats always sit on my laptop I use for youtubes when I'm trying to sleep. It's frustrating. I've started to listen to podcasts instead as I can set a sleep timer on the phone.

Does anyone know of any sleep inducing factual kind of podcasts to send me to sleep? I currently use useless information and isaac arthur, but if there are any cat info ones that would be amazing as I'd only been going to sleep to cat info youtubes.

In other news, it's been a lazyish day but I filed my tax return and did some other paperwork and life admin stuff that I've been waiting for the right time to do and now is the right time. Also back into playing minecraft and moved the music mixer which a lengthy task and the cats spend too much time on it and I often have to move them off it or one of them sleeps on it. Some more cables and joiners so the synth oututs reach it I'm about to ebay and hopefully that finishes the new setup for good. Cats now have a new comfortable place to sleep which is right beside my desk so that's a win. Kitten already napping on it.

Damn, photo is not working; json error. Who is Json?

Edit: Photo now working

Image is of a large black kitten with shiny fur asleep on a brown blanket which is on a desk.

One of the things I hate about ADHD, is that I have time paralysis/waiting time. Like, I want to do things before I have to leave for work... but I just... can't. I hate when people say ADHD is a superpower. It's not... it's really not.

Why am I the way that I am ugh. UGH!

So I tried Aldi Potato Gratin. I wouldn't say it blew my mind.

The weather is a bit nice at the moment - actual sunshine!

Tomorrow looks like it will be good too, and now that school holidays are over I might take advantage of it to go in to the museum & the systems garden at Melbourne Uni. I think I can get free museum entry with my student ID, it will be great if I can because it means I can take my time and come back later without feeling like I have to see everything in one trip.

I've got a Myki loaded on the phone, hopefully everything works ok. It's been years since I've been on a train!

Good bot. You did your job and right on time.

Rest well and we’ll see you tomorrow.

Last day of work for the week and I am sah excited! Rental inspection tomorrow, then off to Perth to see my sister and LIZZO!! Gonna try and get over to Rottnest Island on Thursday for funsies, then take a walk around Kings Park and my sister’s friends have organised a wine and dumpling walk on Saturday night. Taking the bf with me with an extra surprise to start the trip off and I don’t think I’ve been this excited about something for quite a while!

I think this sunshine is helping!

Got the cat some fancy-pants biscuits for sensitive stomachs.

Cat vomits them back up, IN MY SHOE

going cheap - one cat

My Snag Tights have arrived, super keen to wear one of them tomorrow!

Heavy things lifted 💪

Also got the working out at home bonus of emptying the dishwasher and organising dinner between sets.

Just wanted to drop in and say this before I head to bed: you are absolutely crushing it this week, @[email protected]

Wine o’clock 🍷! Warning labels are of no use to those who put them on in the first place. Ugh!

Vegetables are in the oven roasting. Mushroom sauce is slowly simmering, just awaiting the addition of a bit of cream. Steak ready to cook. Just a few more minutes to wait so the timing is right. All systems are go for dinner.

Edit: dinner is done! The poor steak is just about crowded off the plate!

Image: steak, mushroom garlic cream sauce, and vegetables. Many, many vegetables.

My Stir fry

Picture of a large bowl with rice, mixed vegetables with homemade sate sauce and extra sauces and Southern style popcorn chicken. It was very tasty. The man has lunch tomorrow.

16 hour days can get fucked.