This shit post is a shit post. Perfection.
this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2023
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Compared with people who pooped once a day, constipated participants had significantly worse cognition equivalent to three years more of chronological cognitive aging, the authors found. Increased risk was also found among those who pooped more than twice daily, though these higher odds were small.
Not pooping often enough? Jail. Pooping too often? Believe it or not, also jail
I tried to upvote your comment twice... I'm stupid maybe I don't poop enough
My 3-year-old niece is chronically constipated, so I think this must mean she's as smart as a 6-year-old.
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This surely makes me a fucking genius
Stunning
kind of obvious to say ig but correlation =/= causation. for ex: fiber, (the plant material in our diets that is undigestable by us, but is digestible by the healthy bacteria in our intestines) both leads to a healthy "gut microbiome" while having the side effect of making your poops bigger and softer, such that it is easier for your intestines to push it through your digestive system.
Still, in case anyone was wondering, you are supposed to be pooping, aka "having bowel movements" ~~once every day~~ 2-3 times every day. If you aren't that regular, you may need to eat more beans & grains and less processed foods & meats
you are supposed to be pooping, aka "having bowel movements" once every day.
Citation needed, pretty sure this is long outdated. Afaik, anything from 3 times a day to once every three days is fine.
Can confirm, I poop 3 sometimes even 4 times a day and I'm literally the smartest person I know
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OP's making anti-shitposts... Get him!
I poop like 3 times a day or more. Almost always about 30 minutes after I eat. I poop when I wake up. I'll poop 1 or two times at work. I'll poop usually about an hour before bed. I poop when I walk around walmart
I poop a lot
I literally just got done pooping
In all seriousness, that's too much. If you are going directly after eating you've got some gi issues going on. Going that frequently can also mess up your gut flora and exacerbate whatever else you've got going on. Are you able to see a gastroenterologist?
3 times per day is normal and healthy. 30 minutes after you eat isn't the food you just ate, either.
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Same. I also have ibs so...
Do yourself a favor and get some psyllium husk. Don’t overdo it with the stuff , take it once daily to start, but it will make it so you don’t have to go multiple times a day. Also it’s good for you.
I'm pooping right now. I'm eating dinner
I poop once a year but it takes all year. How do we classify that?
You're full of shit.
Not anymore!
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Is this being posted here because of the user who didn't poop for 3 days?
When that burrito plug came loose, my brain started working again in bliss. I believe!
Shitpost taken literally
Now we need to find the poster who wanted to hold it in for three days and see if there has been a cognitive decline.... for science
So what does it mean when you poop 8 times a day?
You may be on the path to unlock the ability to use 100% of your brain!
It's time to see a doctor.
Startlingly relevant to this sub in two ways
If a genie ever gives me three wishes, one of them will be that I never have to use the bathroom again. I hate every second of it. Maybe the cognitive decline is worth avoiding pooping so often.
Born to shit, forced to wipe
Don't let them tell you what to do brother
This wish seems ripe for an evil genie to just cause you to fall over dead on the spot and say "well technically..."
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When else are you gonna doomscroll
I must be a genius because I'm three times a day. I need to stick to my FODMAP diet
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"Do you want Beans memes? Because that's how you get Beans memes."
Thanks to my anti-rejection meds (or one of the other meds I take along with them) my poop has been easy peasy. Like soft serve.
What about pooping 3x a day?
Linked to cognitive IMPROVEMENT, research finds (probably)
And all this time I was accused of shitting my brains out.
how tf can someone go 3 days w/o pooping? I'm taking steps after the first day.
Real talk: Opioid abuse. I somehow never became addicted, but I did use them recreationally. I did have legitimate medical issues (gull stones, before surgery). But sometimes I just liked the high. With that said, opioids can cause delayed poops. Many other factors too, like dehydration, not enough fiber and GI conditions.
But anyone that's somehow purposely holding it that long should see a doctor, and counseling.
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That's some rough shit
Oh no, Hank Hill is gonna be so distressed :c
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