They're actually all served whenever you load the homepage--you'll see them if you check the source.
edit: of course I remember about the angle bracket bug AFTERWARDS, so all the CURRENT_USER/YEAR jokes are lost in my compendium and I'm too tired rn to fix it
Part 1
"Home of the all-you-can-eat struggle session"
"The internet's fastest-growing Pete Buttigieg fansite"
"A support group for terminally online"
"Please report for re-education"
"Welcome home, comrade"
"LORE REQUEST: MOMMYBIGDICK"
"Robespierre Did Nothing Wrong"
"Welcome to the cum zone"
"TRAINS"
"Stay safe out there"
"The Dive Bar at the End of the Universe"
"Alexa, end racism."
"Hillary Clinton is an idea, a world-historical heroine, light itself"
"Is your hate pure?"
"Mr. Gorbachev, hit these back walls"
"the revolution will be petitionised"
"Uh... you know... the thing"
"bodily function, laugh"
"I am once again asking you to sort your megathread by /new"
"Keep your vital essences inside at all times."
"What do you mean podcast?"
"Hear me out... Heptagon Bear"
"Roll for Sanity"
"Italians Need Not Register"
"Y'all hear about cum?"
"The Leading Peer-to-Peer Toothbrush Confiscation Website"
"Ask Us About China!"
"the only good hellsite"
"Ask Us About Animal Liberation!"
"Sharpens Guillotine"
"You've Been Added to Another Watchlist"
"Stalin Did Nothing Wrong"
"The Kulaks Deserved It"
"The Romanovs Deserved It"
"The Landlords Deserved It"
"The Sparrows Deserved It"
"Death to America"
"مرگ بر آمریک"
"the wise man solemnly bowed his head and spoke: "there's actually zero difference between good &bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron.""
"There's no longer a dang CHEETO in the whitehouse!"
"THIS SITE IS HENTAI FREE. Lookin for it? Leave"
"No."
"who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off"
"i dont understand what this anime has to do with the interview"
""im not owned! im not owned!!", i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob"
"There is no ethical cum under capitalism"
"Everything is fucked. Piracy is cool"
"Yeet the rich"
"...In Minecraft"
"One neat trick your landlord doesn't want you to know"
"These CG bullet wounds aren't doing it for me"
"Capitalism killed squibs"
"You mean that drug lord?"
"Yeah we're anarcho-marxist-leninist-maoist-trotskyist-dengist-christmanists"
"More 👏 Female 👏 Drone 👏 Pilots"
"Fraternal Order of the Bernard Brethren"
"Bullying Works"
"Down with Cis"
"remember to fraternally kiss a comrade today"
"healthcare pls"
"where we cum once we cum all"
"belligerent and numerous"
"This machine kills fascists"
"Post hog!"
"Capitalism, more like crapitalism, amirite xD"
"Line go down"
"Officially endorsed by George Soros"
"Patent pending"
"Low energy raid!"
"No gods, no masters"
"You have nothing to lose but your chains!"
"Nye nye, uwu"
"A fascist worked out today, did you?"
"Listen, Jack!"
"Be gay, do crimes"
"social democracy is objectively the moderate wing of fascism"
"Real possum hours"
"go to horny jail... bonk!"
"Hillary Clinton Fan Club"
"Kick grass and smoke ass"
"And where did that bring you? Back to me"
"Post Hog"
"Check out this dope-ass bear"
"Volcel Gang"
"Yesterday was the same, tomorrow will be different"
":shapiro-poplar: alright as you can see, i just went shopping at home depot, you should do the same, this wood, this board, this magnificent piece of poplar, is now mine."
"proud mod team of internet janitors preaching the values of communism and hrt (for those who wish to partake in it)"
"Buh?"
"Hot take I know, but I don’t think the soviet union ever dissolved. When the US government says that they did this giant geopolitical feat to prove how america was better than russia, I treat it with heavy scrutiny."
"You downbeared my post. Now everyone’s gonna be infertile, and the elite will take over and invent their fucking Rockies paradise."
"I liked it but then I went to the Server’s page and saw it’s filled with Communist symbols, got terrified and closed it :("
"line go up world more gooder"
"All Cats Are Beautiful"
"Ripping off Futurama taglines since 3020"
"Had to have high, high hopes for a living"
"A couple of nominally anarchist users here find reasons to perpetually express resentment, but I think this comes from them sympathizing too much with anarcho-bidenists."
"Sir, this is a Wendy's."
"I sort of give up on podcasts. There doesn’t seem to be much good faith about podcasts; People are telling me to stop listening to these people (I don’t unless I click a link here) while simultaneously defending paying them large sums of money as good actually."
"listening to a fucking plate smashing and being like 'that's real music baby' to my slowly dissolving friend group"
"All they have managed to do is make themself sad. They are starting to suspect Karl Marx fucked them over personally with his socio-economic theory. It has, however, made them into a very, very smart person with something like a university degree in Truth. Instead of building Communism, they now build a precise model of this grotesque, duplicitous world."
"I guess you could say we believe it because it's impossible. It's our way of saying we refuse to accept that the world has to remain... like this... "
"In the dark times, should the stars also go out? "
"They will single-handedly raise the Soviet Union from the liberalized stronghold where it has been resting, covered in ghosts and snow! They are the Big Communism Builder. Come, witness 's attempt to rebuild Communism in the year !"
"it is and you're still posting :07:"
" needs to log off."
"A fascist posted today, did you?"
"Proud member of the swoletariat"
"like digg but leftist"
"Hide your toothbrushes"
"endless china struggle sessions"
"Should have been lib.rehab"
"We have hexbears"
"Keep calm and VOTE"
"LIB!"
"ok guys hear me out, nordic socialism"
"HOG OUT or LOG OUT"
"Everyone's a lib except me"
"pig poop balls"
"Is this a bit?"
"Shitposters of the world UNITE!"
"bear with us"
"It wasn't okay to close the subreddit as a joke"
"All Bunny Cops Are Bastards"
"Official Community for the podcast Citations Needed"
"Kinda Nice With It"
"a line of dancing crabs"
"chapo? like the drug dealer?"
"Pokemon Go to the proles"
"Pokemon Go! to the polls"
"Hog Futures Are Up"
"This is me. This is how I win."
"Ah, nevertheless,"
"We love to see it"
"...and I'm reporting for DUTY"
"God, could dad drive a car"
"We love our beautiful posters, don't we folks?"
"Don't blame me, blame society"
"Welcome to the machine!"
"I'm just here for the shitposting"
"Now accepting suggestions for today's struggle session"
"It's true. We're turning the frogs gay"
"You're welcome to join my expedition to go back to 19th century Vienna and kill Freud. The time machine is finished. We're leaving on Tuesday. You need to bring your own gun and German phrase book. "Ver is der mommenfucken quaken doktor vit der kokaine habbit?""
"Every hexbear comment reads like AI trained only on the Tumblr accounts of 14 year olds with Stalin body pillows."
"17 18 19 35 7 7 17 18 GREY 49 70 70 108 108 9 00 BLACK"
"What is workplace democracy? Would love to finally hear some socialist philosophy from someone that isn’t a goddamn Hexbear user."
"Wear every downvote over on the reddit island of lemmy like a badge."
"This is the last comment I’m ever making on this instance. You’ll never see my main account here again or this account ever be used again. I don’t trust the people here. Especially when doing some research and it seems that lemmy.ml got co-opted by lemmygrad and is slowly turning into hexbear 2.0."
"At this point Hexbear is essentially co-opted by astroturfing terrorists"
"Hexbear.net is like if Fox News was to create a leftist website. It smells so fake."
"Man, I was all on board with this idea. Federated instances made so much sense to me. But it’s tankies all the way down, and it’s just not worth my time anymore. Hell, if the largest instance bans you seconds after you call out a tankie mod, where can you escape? Great idea, terrible execution. Everyone wants lemmy to grow, well, until the tankies are gone, that shit just ain’t gonna happen. "
"Hexbears are half troll farm, a quarter 4chan larper, and a quarter confused teenagers who just found out how many fascist regimes America has supported."
" fully understands the core of international geopolitics. "
"everything under heaven is in chaos, the situation is not particularly excellent but nonetheless ww3 was started at a rave"
"I’m left. But what the fuck is the deal with “tankies” though? "
"I must confirm the sequences I have. Will pay $5,000 per hair obtained from HIllary Clinton. Payment after the sequence matches."
"seeing a modlog with “reason: sent picture of a pig shitting” is the funniest thing I’ll see all day."
"I'm a liberal, and I'm also a proud socialist. And so are you."
"Just to be clear, this is not an invitation to discussion with you, but a warning to others who might see your comment."
"hexbear? like the drug dealer?"
"I'm a good Maoist, I hate sex"
"I’m a veteran of The Culture War. Lieutenant Colonel in the 207th Hexbear Corps. I received a Purple Heart in the Battle of the Maid Cafe"
"Patrons at Miami eatery Versailles cheered when Donald Trump twice declared “Food for everyone!” during a surprise stop at the Little Havana hotspot. Then he left without buying food for anyone."
"If I cant post, it isn't my revolution"
"I was like "this vape tastes funny" and she was like "oh yeah its dmt""
"you wanna hear about what happened in my AP Gov class today?"
"reminder: stalin saved the world from fascism"