this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] [email protected] 155 points 11 months ago (3 children)

record scratch

You're probably wondering how I got here.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Fuck. Just spit coffee out in bed

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is the photographic equivalent of Lewis Black's "if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

It doesn't make sense at first, but your brain has to rationalize it so it comes up with a plausible explanation. It doesn't have the context to know if that's the right explanation, so while you're driving to work and going about your day it's still trying to process this in the background, quietly pushing you toward an aneurism years later.

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As a developer I can only say: no matter how foolproof you make your product, you will always encounter that one special user.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Many women think this is what men do in the toilet.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As someone with a penis, I can confirm this is exactly what we do in the toilet

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

I stopped doing it. Was too difficult to get up. God I'm old.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

One of my first jobs was cleaning toilets in a bowling alley and I’m pretty sure this is what women do in the toilet. Anything to avoid touching that seat.

I’m a woman and I’ve never understood it.

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That litter box should have been changed a while ago. Poor cat

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah unfortunately this post just makes me angry. That litter box is fucking disgusting.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As funny as this is, I concur. Also... why were they taking a picture? Kinda concerns me that they may have intentionally pushed the box top over to tip the cat

But maybe I'm just being paranoid. Idk.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Hmm it's possible but I'd think a cat would easily be able to stay on its feet if the top was pushed off. But losing its balance and ending up like that also doesn't make sense to me.

My guess is the picture taker gave the cat some kind of jump scare (which tbf could involve pushing on the top) and had the camera ready.

Though if that is the case, the joke might be on them because that cat might look for new places to do its business now that the litter box isn't safe.

Edit: looked again at the pic and I see that this might be a box where the cat stands on top of the part that fell rather than that being like the top of a "cave" like I had at first assumed. That makes both the cases I didn't think very likely much more likely and my own guess less likely.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 11 months ago

"Politician interact with voters after election"

[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Am I too dense to recognize that everyone is intentionally not saying:

Massive squirt from sloppy pussy (furry)

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago

Most people are trying to intentionally not remember you said it

[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The plastic thing that stands upright is part of the tray and there was probably a bottom where the cat could sit so as not to get its paws wet. Probably this second bottom broke under the weight of the cat while he was peeing. The cat's owner managed to film a rare shot of the fall.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Kinda' looks like it was pushing its back backward against the plastic wall and the extra top popped off, suddenly offering no support, so the cat and the top tumbled over out the box.

Why it'd put so much weight outward is a whole damn question, though... The before picture was probably funny, too.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

You'd think that, but as serf to three felines, they just be like that.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago

This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I'm sick, and I might die from laughing.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago

Cat-Ass-Trophy (say it fast)

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Looks like a Renaissance statue.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

lemmyshitpost? More like lemmypisspost

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

This one is acceptable for cross posting actually

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Thanks. I just shot coke out my nose.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

It speaks for itself, honestly.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

This is a work of art

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Is your opossum ok?

Also, this would belong to [email protected]

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

CHALLENGE PISSING

If you can piss 10 ft straight up and not get wet, you get a free car.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

I believe he's spreading it

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

Weeeeeeeeeee!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

You can title "cat" and it would be enough.Allthough very funny and a firsr for me it's also not surprising at all.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

All hail the cat fountain

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

“Purrfection”

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

Cool trickshot

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Nice phone/camera reflexes you have there. I would have fumbled this opportunity for fame and fortune.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

The fountain of life

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

The world rn

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of people calling the police together because of this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Midstream fall.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

"Pissing myself laughing" MFs be like

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

I bet that smells terrific.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Catteken-Pis

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

A good opportunity to learn about projectile motion.

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