You place a man in a corner, a man's gonna tape fish to stuff.
this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2024
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A few year ago my bank switched their ATMs to a new model able to accept cash without an envelope. The problem I have is it rejects any bill that has even the slightliest little fold or bend in it, meaning any cash that has been in a wallet or ever folded often gets rejected. Instead of depositing cash in the ATM and having to try 3-5 deposits to get all the cash to stay in, I go to the teller if the bank is open.
Every god damn time the teller makes some remark about "you know you could just use the ATM" and i have to resist my blood boiling. I've tried to use the ATM, it fucking sucks. Invest in better tech or accept I'll waste employee time.
Don't resist. Let them know how you feel. That both stops the smarmy remarks and makes it more likely someone will look into it.
Exactly this.
It's possible the cash deposit isn't being used by enough people so they aren't being informed it isn't working often enough to actually do anything about it. It could be some simple malfunction, and a maintenance call to the manufacturer could fix the issue in minutes.
Happens a lot in work places, and in tech spaces in general. People don't want to "raise a fuss" or be labeled "complainers", so they don't speak up.
Always speak up. Don't assume they're aware of your concerns. Feedback is important, don't withhold it.
I've seen this happen countless times. Some printer or whatever in the office hasn't been working properly for years, but they just got used to putting up with it and never put a ticket into IT. Then I eventually find and out 20 minutes was all it took to fix it.
Since you didn't mention it, I'm curious if you've tried the smoothing trick. This is where you take the bill from both sides and gently but firmly slide it along a corner edge.
If you have any it doesn't, then I'm sorry. I wanted to see if I could help. I had to deal with really picky vending machines back in the day which is how I learned that trick.
Thanks for the tip, I've had some success with it before. I'm in Canada and our money is made of plastic, it tends to have a really good "memory" once it gets folded. I swear the machines even reject pristine bills as well.
Ahhh gotcha, I'm down in the states with paper based cash. I actually didn't know Canada's was plastic. Ugh those machines though they sound like the worst. Hopefully they improve soon
It might be that the machine they're using is one bought from a manufacturer in the states, and the readers are better at reading paper bills than plastic ones.
Also the machine might just need serviced.
Our machines (like vending and coin exchange) often reject bills that are too new and crisp, as well as too old and uncrisp.
There’s a sweet spot with tech, and that needs to stop being the case.
It feels like this basic thing should have been caught in testing before the machines even got mass produced. Like the guys building it probably had access to various bills to test with.
Bank bill counters can manage it with both speed and precision, and have been able to do so for a very long time. This is more of a problem with costs than possibility. They ignored the fringe cases intentionally.
The companies making the atms and other vending devices don’t care if you get frustrated, they know you will typically keep trying until it works because “that’s just how vending machines are”. the important thing is their machine is cheap, since it might get vandalized and cost them money to replace.
I feel there’s a reason most of them take cards now (it’s easier to spend more, don’t need change, machines aren’t storing large amounts of cash making them a target, and the tech is easier to have function properly for cheap, plus they can charge an extra fee!). Is not a good move, just part of the enshitification of everything.
It's only a problem for cheap tech. A casino slot machine will happily work with almost everything short of torn bills.
You could always use the night drop, even in the daytime.
Might not have one.
And wait an unnecessary amount of time for them to add it to your account. Sometimes 24 hours
Have you asked them where to find the ironing board and iron?
Or, you could change banks. Crazy though, I know…
Reminds me of the guy who got fed up that his city wasn't fixing pot holes:
https://www.theverge.com/2015/5/2/8535259/penis-pothole-activism-wanksy-england
"Wanksy"
Genius
Reminds me of the Russian drawbridge that was adorned with a dick pic…
Can't say it fits, but what does - drawing the surname of Navalniy guy in the snow guaranteed it would be plowed.
Love to see an avatar of a guy in a suit with misspellings and grammatical errors.
The suit is supposed to imply professionalism and dignity. The post implies low abilities. I'm here for it.
(If I have errors in my comment, I'm still drunk from NYE and it's early where I live. I don't have an avatar, so fuck off.)
The guy’s in Bunbury though, so it makes sense
(jk I’ve known some really awesome people from Bunbury)
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They probably break them on purpose so they can get free fish.
That's what happens when you outsource your ATM maintenance to dolphins.
When humans glue skim card readers onto ATMs -- it's a phishing scam. When dolphins...
Lmao OK you win the internet for today
I love how he says,
so we won't HAVE to tape fish
as if there's simply no other option. Like, that's the only way you can summon the ATM maintenance crew.
It's an offering
It costs 1 blue mana to summon them I guess
Hey COMMONWEALTH bank: You just got F I S H M O N G E R E D!
that guy deserves a pint
Dinner too in case he's used up all his fish by now.
The will,, power is strong in this one.
He's got so much will,, power that it takes two commas and a space to keep the two halves of the word apart. It's the punctuation equivalent of that screwdriver keeping the demon core from going critical.
In this case though, it'd cause a fishin' reaction.
Couldn't have put it better myself.
But I fear he will soon stop having more fish and tape than that company.
Careful. He's a hero.
They have more fish and tape
Did the fish ask the guy if he had any grapes?
Great that you found something to get their attention. Just please leave the fish alone. No need for this cruelty.
Very unlikely this guy is catching wild fish to tape to a machine. More likely went to a grocery store or fish monger, and bought a pre-dead fish who experienced no additional cruelty than any other pre-dead fish.
Wasteful? Maybe. Definitely not additionally cruel.
Anyone else want some grilled fish after seeing this?
tape one of those talking fish!
A true proletariat
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