this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
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So is it a high probability that if a chick used to be super into me and has cooled considerably and on the site we were talking on it looks like she's up talking to somebody else.

I'm assuming she's found another dude she likes talking to more than me..

I'm not positive though

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago

Maybe, have you met in real life? Talking online, particularly on a dating site, is super low stakes so people aren't as guarded and can often give the impression that they're way more interested than they are.

Maybe she's just busy and isn't spending much time online at the moment. Pretty much impossible for us to say.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

I don't know what website you're talking about, but probably. Maybe she's asleep or watching a TV show though, so don't make any rash assumptions.

If you're worried about it try mixing things up with like a joke or a question or something.

And also if you find this happens often, try ask them out (of it's a dating site) while you've still got their attention.

And as always, plenty of fish in the sea, don't get too upset over these things.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I wish I could help, but socialising is not my strong point, deeper-sadness

It could be they're just good friends! Hopefully another comrade can help answer

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

You really can only chill out and talk to other people / find some other way to occupy your time. You will find out that you can't ever push things, and people being interested in you is just a nice bonus.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The best thing you can do is be chill and stay friends. You never know what could happen in the future, but you can't be possessive or prideful. Not easy if you got confidence or anger issues, but it's the best thing if you want to be a really cool dude

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The best thing you can do is be chill and stay friends.

only do this if it's genuine and not waiting around for another shot, and it doesn't hurt too much. Don't friendzone yourself.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Friendzones are a proto-Tate concept. Guess im built different shrug-outta-hecks

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

people complained about it 20+ years ago, but it was always something they did to themselves by not being honest or self-aware.

[–] RaincoatsGeorge 1 points 7 months ago

Eh hard to say. Depends on the girl, what the website is. We would need more info.

But better to not worry too much about it. I think it's a mindset thing that can really bog you down if you're not careful. Does this person like me? Did I upset so and so? It can go to extremes pretty quickly if you let it. Honestly tho who cares. If people want to hang with you and talk to you, cool. If not, that's cool too. You're frankly too busy being awesome and doing your own fun shit to worry about it. When you are the one making the scene and doing the cool shit other people will naturally be drawn to whatever it is you're doing.

I say all of that because desperation is a stinky cologne and ladies will pick up on it quick. People generally don't want to be around people who try too hard or who are obsessive. First step to dating and relationships is you gotta be good with you.

When people pick up on the fact that you have a level of self respect and are not tripping over yourself to get their attention, they will naturally be attracted to you.

If this girl went cold meh, fuckkem. There will be others. There always are. And if she suddenly warms up again, cool, but it's not a necessity.