this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2023
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Transfem

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She wanted to see me on her lunch break. I was nervous. I warned her I would be in girlmode, and, to be honest, ladies, I don't think I have a boymode any more.

I feel like it went really well. The first thing she did was cry and hug me, telling me I've been through so much. We talked about the subsect of Christians that only have hate. We talked about how I came to this decision. About the kids. About what the next steps forward is. She wanted to really impress on me that she loves me, through and through.

Sometimes, it really is all in your head. Sometimes, I know it isn't. Regardless, you are loved. I wish to formally extend my support and love to whoever needs it. Don't forget, this community, it's for us. We can try to be the support network you need, if you feel like you have no one else to turn to. You all have been so wonderful to me, helping with my questions as I come to terms with myself. Don't be like I used to be, just lurking, afraid to ask. This is our safe space. There are no stupid questions. I love y'all.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As someone who was not so lucky with her (step)mom, I want you to know I am so happy for you. Cherish her tightly!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Trust me, I've been super worried about this day. She bucked when one of my kids came out as pan, and again when they came out as trans, to the point they call her her name, not grandma. Even to her face. Because they have been slighted so much. I know she doesn't understand, but she's trying. She even was trying to correct herself when she called me son, and I gently told her I'm still making my own connection in my head. I'm glad it went as well as it did, and I'm sorry your stepmom wasnt as accepting. Trust me, I'm still worried about my stepdad. He's been very stoic about this, but he's got a more important things going on than his trans stepdaughter. (His mom isn't doing very well). So imma give him his space on that

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’m so glad this worked out for you, I’m nervous about how my mom will react. When I left home the last time, she came home early and caught me platonically with an effeminate guy. She screamed at me and said she couldn’t believe I would let that THING into her house.

Quite a few other instances of similar happenings.

Her husband threatened to rape me if I wanted to paint my nails

I know I shouldn’t, but I’m just kinda planning on when she eventually decides to come visit telling her then, but I may be so far along at that point it may be too much.

I don’t know.

It’s probably just me being my own worst critic.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I hope your mother has done some growth since then. Sometimes, it might just be better to let go. Just, be careful and temper your expectations, and have your partner by your side.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

After your earlier post I'm so happy for you! I'm rooting for you queen 👑