chapotraphouse

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Finally got GF-ed up (sorta', I'll explain). When I entered her apartment I noticed a Nintendo 64 in the open trashcan in the livingroom/dining room area. I reflexively reached to rescue it but she sl (hexbear.net)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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apped my hand and told me not to go through other people's garbage. Which, yeah, but THERE'S AN ENTIRE NINTENDO 64 IN THERE. Weirder yet, I kept saying this and she wouldn't acknowledge it and kept reiterating that whatever's in the garbage, unless it's a Christmas-born baby like in Tokyo Godfathers, I shouldn't. Also talked about her strangely extensive knowledge concerning the laws here surrounding garbage, public property, expectations of privacy, etc.

So this relationship is ruined and I might as well bide my time until I meet someone else who's not throwing away classic gaming consoles. Anyway, I got the Nintendo 64 here at home and it's covered in some kind of hardened crimson liquid and the corner's slightly cracked but otherwise it seems to work fine.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

She just called me. She intimated that she noticed the N64 is missing from her garbage and told me I need to come over so she can destroy me with video games. Which, cool, we can play Smash 64 Remix.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 8 months ago

Sometimes I eat things out of the trash as a power move. If you need to establish dominance fast, it works. Doesn't even need to be food. It works.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago

Have you considered that the N64 was cursed?

And that the one lingering effect of the curse was that she cannot reveal the nature of the curse?

And your gf had finally managed to defeat the curse, only for you to potentially activate it again?

I recommend couples therapy + exorcism. If you can't find a therapist/exorcist, burning a Mario effigy in the backyard can suffice for both.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

I bet she thinks Mario Kart 64 is better than Diddy Kong Racing.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

she has not emptied or put anything else in this trash can in 15 years; it is there to serve as a test of loyalty