Somebody skipped the checks and balances lesson in 10th grade American History, eh?

FYI, carrots grow vertically, not horizontally.

They are roots. Roots are like spongy straws. When a sponge dries out.....

Wait 'til y'all find out about butter bells.

Mine are still plotting my death, so I'll skip getting that close to them.

Gosh, I thought mine had a bad overbite. Derpiness max factor unlocked.

Confirmed. My Borzoi lies continually, especially to "have you eaten yet?" And "who made this mess?!"

She gives you that Russian side-eye.

No, makeup and crap. I was pretty furious. Luckily that's the worst so far.

Stole from their workplace. It was awful.

Absolutely. Mostly because I don't consume much entertainment. Movies and TV really shape how people think.

M

Don't call the non-emergency line when you have a parent with a spare key.

I shouldn't need to ask you to put it in the dishwasher every time you use a fork.

Why is there a pile of dirty socks on the stairs?

I should be able to use my own couch/ sink/ toilet/ counter without having a fight about it.

Until you're out of the house, it doesn't matter whether you're 18 or not, I still expect you to not do anything illegal.