Angel

"Do you think Hexbear has an inclusive atmosphere towards transgender/gender diverse people?"

This one especially stood out to me, but I could see other Hexbears having their own issues with other questions. It's definitely mostly on the side of "Yes" for me, but y'know, I guess in a site with a lot of cis people, I shouldn't expect myself to not have at least a slight degree of hesitation with just a flat-out "Yes." I myself have a lot of skepticism with cis people, especially white cis people, so I think it's my paranoia really. My internalized transphobia makes it hard to believe in "true" trans inclusivity in a way.

It's kind of me being nitpicky, overall.

I think I have basically no dysphoria or almost none. Is this common, or does it mean I’m not trans?

It's totally possible to be trans without dysphoria. The notion that "Dysphoria is a requirement for being trans," sometimes referred to as transmedicalism, is pretty much a baseless standard initiated by cis people to create some way of gatekeeping so "the transes don't get too crazy for us normal folk to handle." Trans women who say things like "I didn't hate being a man, but I much prefer being a woman" are way more common than dysphoria discourse would get you to think. Transmedicalism, of course, has been internalized by trans people, and it virtually always coincides with an unhealthy sense of internalized transphobia.

My position is kind of simple—I actually enjoy being a dude; it’s pretty rad most of the time. Yet, I like women, desire them, and sometimes I want to be them.

To give my two cents as an enby, this feeling sounds marginally similar to what my thoughts were like in that in-between phase of going from identifying as binary to non-binary. Though I wouldn't say I "enjoyed" being a dude, it didn't feel as bad compared to being a woman in some way, shape, or form. Once I realized that androgyny is a thing and that non-binary people can medically transition and experience dysphoria, it became pretty clear to me what I was in that instant. However, like I said, you don't need dysphoria to be trans, but the truscummy myth that "it's impossible for enbies to be dysphoric" kept me confused for a long ass time. I didn't know if I preferred he/him or she/her, and because of such a myth being internalized, identifying as non-binary or with they/them pronouns was out of the question for me. Once I accepted myself as non-binary, I realized I'm fine going by any and all pronouns.

As far as "liking and desiring women" goes, just to be totally clear, sexual orientation and gender identity don't have anything to do with each other intrinsically. There is a common myth that all trans people are straight, i.e., trans women are exclusively into men and trans men are exclusively into women, but trans people can be gay, lesbian, bi, pan, ace, etc.

That said, there are some important caveats. I’m completely fine growing old as a man, but I dread the idea of aging as a woman. That might be internalized misogyny, but it is what it is. I also feel like I’m building something in my life, and becoming a trans woman of color (I’m Black) wouldn’t exactly help my goals; it would make everything harder I assume.

I'm the total opposite on the "growing old" point. In fact, thinking about myself growing old with my body on testosterone rather than estrogen was one of the thoughts that got me to think "I'm definitely not cis." I can't speak for whether or not the repulsion about growing old as a woman is linked to a sense of internalized misogyny, but as a black transfem, shit has been hard. However, I saw no merit to pretending to be cis. I just couldn't do it no matter how deeply I tried to repress. Since your experience with dysphoria (or maybe lack thereof) is different than mine, it may be a lot more confusing for you.

On top of that, I’ve recently started to live. I meet people in real life, I have a partner, and I’m learning to cook. For the last 5-7 years, I was a reclusive hermit who mostly went to work and lurked online. I feel like if I want to transition, I should do it within the next year, but it’s all a bit much.

I came out to an online friend as trans about 10 years ago, and they were pretty chill about it, but I walked it back. Fast forward to now—I recently told my partner that I’m thinking about transitioning, and they were very supportive and sweet. However, the more I think about it, the more I’m starting to get cold feet.

One myth that still prevails in trans communities is that there is such a thing as "transitioning too late." Though one can argue that it's better to do it early simply due to the nature of aging, there are trans people who have transitioned so many decades into their life. I personally recommend taking your time with it, especially since you're on the fence about whether or not you truly want to do it. There really is no actual time limit. Also, just know that a discrepancy between how people will treat you and how you feel on the inside can cause cognitive dissonance. I'd have moments of saying "I'm a cis dude" and then say "I'm a transfem" the next simply because I knew the former was "acceptable" but the latter felt "more like myself but it'll get me in trouble." This led to me having to weigh out my options.

I can’t think of many bigger, more impactful decisions than transitioning, aside from becoming a parent or getting drafted into a large war, maybe. I think people who transition are very brave, but at my core, I’ve always been a lazy coward

Big, impactful decisions can be positively impactful. I really hope a lot of what I said resonated with you in some way, and I know with enough thought, you can find your path. I don't want to ever speak in absolutes to another person questioning their gender because gender identity is ultimately personal. Sometimes, it's so personal that being trans can literally just feel like vibes.

Good luck, comrade

Sometimes, I just wake up in the morning, and my "I Can't Stand Fucking CracKKKers" meter is going off the charts.

Might this be one of those mornings?

You'd have to be extra tilted against the gays to do something like this.

Even the staunchest homophobes I've known would not even think to actually put this much effort into expressing it.

Sending reinforcements!

Some "Yes/No" questions seem kinda gray to me, but I still answered them to the best of my ability.

Holy shit, you're cooking!

I have these kinds of thoughts too fucking often.

This is why you can't see your feet when you look down in FPSes.

I've never been too much of a pizza fan, even when I was an omni...

I'm weird, I know. It's not a food that I dislike, but I'd take practically any other kind of food over pizza if given options.