BellyPurpledGerbil

joined 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 days ago

I got this kind of support from my parents nearly 20 years ago. It was absolutely lucky and I got access and care in ways others didn't. It made me feel guilty the older I got and the more trans friends I made, who didn't have anything close to what I had. I feel very sad about it. My life wasn't perfect, I still have problems, but probably way fewer than the alternative.

In my day to day life I try to make up for it by helping other trans people. I become the support that I always had. It's not as easy as it looks. Hope you're doing well and I wish for you and others reading this to find support where you can get it. I know I'm trying to pay it forward. And so will others. Look for the helpers.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm reusing a blade server I managed to snag from a company I worked for in 2008. It's perfect as a media server for friends and family. It is only recently degrading slightly but hey, it lasted a long time!

Point is you can use almost anything. Do your homework on compatible parts and make what you can afford

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

This is exactly right. Taking obviously thoughtless statements/insults seriously is a stupid move. It gives a bit more life to lies and accepts completely baseless criticisms as debatable. In debate club you might earn a lot of points. In front of a bully, you're reacting exactly how they want you to react. You're giving them the attention they want. Hitting the bully back is common sense. And that's why they're whining. The bully always cries when you fight back. Don't dish out shit if you can't take it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Your favorite album

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (12 children)

I do think there is some element of gender disillusionment if not dysphoria in very insecure men. I don't think calling them some stage of trans has the right implications though. They are men that want to stay men. But their internal views of men are constantly challenged by their culture and environment.

Nothing says women can't have muscular bodies or else they must be men or being a woman wrong in some way. But that dissonance obviously irritates the type of guy that unironically wants to be an alpha gigachad. So they impose their own standards on others, unknowingly outing their insecurities.

If I'm being really honest though even if I thought all of that was likely, it's way more likely that people on the Internet just love to start flame wars about anything if they're bored enough. Especially when the target is a woman.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I don't disagree with there being tradeoffs in terms of speed, like function vs network requests. But eventually your whole monolith gets so fuckin damn big that everything else slows down.

The whole stack sits in a huge expensive VM, attached to maybe 3 or 4 large database instances, and dev changes take forever to merge in or back out.

Every time a dev wants to locally test their build, they type a command and have to wait for 15-30 minutes. Then troubleshoot any conflicts. Then run over 1000 unit tests. Then check that they didn't break coverage requirements. Then make a PR. Which triggers the whole damn process all over again except it has to redownload the docker images, reinstall dependencies, rerun 1000+ unit tests, run 1000+ integration tests, rebuild the frontend, which has to happen before running end to end UI tests, pray nothing breaks, merge to main, do it ALL OVER AGAIN FOR THE STAGING ENVIRONMENT, QA has to plan for and execute hundreds of manual tests, and we're not even at prod yet. The whole way begging for approvals from whoever gets impacted by anything from a one line code change to thousands.

When this process gets so large that any change takes hours to days, no matter how small the change is, then you're fucked. Because unfucking this once it gets too big becomes such a monstrous effort that it's equivalent to rebuilding the whole thing from scratch.

I've done this song and dance so many times. If you want your shit to be speedy on request, great, just expect literally everything else to drag down. When companies were still releasing software like once a quarter this made sense. It doesn't anymore.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

There are lots of parasitic bugs in this story, including Elon Musk

[–] [email protected] 74 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (105 children)

Guys... This is not a complicated discussion. I'm a trans woman. I've been the man. And now I've been the woman. I'm telling you without question I'm picking the fucking bear. Men are scary motherfuckers. A sizeable number of you are cruel, calculating, and downright uncaring. If you're debating women about why they'd pick a potentially dangerous animal to be alone with in the woods instead of you, you have entirely missed the point.

Go talk to every woman you know in your social circles and in your family, and ask them if they have been assaulted or sexually assaulted by men. The number of them that says yes to that question is going to be depressing. Some of them might even confide in you that they've been raped. My own sister didn't tell me until I asked her why she was so upset with my brother one time. She had recently been raped by a boyfriend and when men got angry around her she'd flip out. Those acts, when inflicted on you, poison your default view of your fellow man. If you can't imagine a man being more dangerous than a bear, then you've never had to.

A bear can't break my trust. A bear can't gaslight me into thinking all the shitty things he does are because he loves me. And if I told someone I got attacked by a bear, at least they'd believe me. They wouldn't need to bring out a bear assault kit to prove it. The bear is predictable. Men are not.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago

Some stay dry and others feel the pain

[–] [email protected] 47 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (22 children)

I get it. I have like, life ruining levels of insomnia, which is like 90% because I have extreme nightmares every time I fall asleep. They're so bad sometimes I wake up crying. Sometimes I don't fall asleep because I know what's waiting for me when I eventually lose consciousness. I'm so thankful when I have no dreams at all. I've talked to doctors and psychologists about it and they just shrug at me like, wow that sounds tough. Nobody has ever helped me with it. And really who would take it seriously? It's just nightmares right? What adult is afraid to go to sleep? To dream about loved ones dying in gruesome ways right before their eyes? Or getting murdered in horrible ways, tortured to death, trampled, eaten alive by insects, being responsible for killing my whole family in a car crash, falling to death and remembering what the impact felt like, having my eyeballs plucked from my head, my stomach torn open and my guts devoured while I'm still alive. I'm not even close to the end of the list of what I've experienced over half of my life. Yeah they're just nightmares. But I have to experience them. For the rest of my life.

The only fighting chance I've been given is to move to a state where weed is legal because it basically prevents me from dreaming at all.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I sincerely doubt you have much to add that is philosophical or thought provoking, if this (honestly tired old image) was enough to make you respond like anyone who criticizes Trump, or attacks bad takes about how both sides are bad, makes everyone here extremists. And now you must flee to a safe haven where nobody does that? Is that not... Seeking to participate in a different echo chamber? Do you not see how ridiculous that is?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I don't know how seriously to take this kind of discussion sometimes. I can rationalize that a person can do awful things to people in a fictional setting and it's not a commentary of who they are as a person. On the other hand I cannot escape the feeling that I am replying to a genuine sadistic monster, based on everything you just said in this post. Forget all of that. Unnecessary commentary when there's a point I want to make.

There's a crucial difference in video games vs more free-form varieties like TTRPGs: You're on The Rails. Video game RPGs are almost always on the rails. There's no real sandbox game anywhere. Like there are good attempts, but at the end of the day, any game has programmed expectations for your inputs and what it can output. Video games can't possibly fathom how deeply evil you could actually get. It would be a developmental and technological nightmare to try programming in all of your awful choices and how they could spiral the narrative. They have to do their best within the limitations of how much could possibly fit in a game. And I'm assuming the game companies also have to take into account the ratings system, and PR. Even if you could play the game any way you want, good AND bad choices, you're going to get odd looks from people if they know the game allows you to sexually abuse NPCs, or enslave people through extortion. You know what I'm getting at? The real limitation isn't the technology, even though that's already a big one. Even in virtual, completely fictional settings, being allowed to play that shit out is wholly monstrous. And I can't imagine the toll it would take on designers who would be tasked to write it.

So if you really want all of that and accept the risks, make your own CRPG where you can go all out on Evil. Being critical of developers and designers for not being willing to go as far as your twisted mind can go in a video game is a wild take. Go play in an evil TTRPG campaign if you want to get those kicks. It's way easier.

view more: next ›